Not long ago
I wrote a post on praying.  And how sometimes we want to quit. We pray for days, weeks, months and years without an answer.

Or at least that is what it seems like.  

There are times when I pray, seeking an answer to a problem and nothing happens. It is like the Lord isn’t hearing me.

Sometimes I think others don’t hear me either.  I think that my words don’t matter.

No one would want to read them and I am only one small voice in a sea of millions.  

Why do I bother with this space?

Recently, while attending the Allume conference, these thoughts came on like a tidal wave.  Rushing over me with a vengeance I have not felt in a long time. 

And I succumbed to these vicious thoughts.  The conference opened with dinner and worship on Thursday evening and by Friday morning I was miserable.

It is easy to get lost in a sea of 453 bloggers.

It is easy to get lost in a sea of stars that shine brighter than me.

It is easy to get lost in a sea of people that matter and I end up thinking that I don’t. That my words don’t count.  That what I say is useless.

It is easy to have a relationship with people online.  On Twitter or Facebook.  Pinterest or Instagram…but in real life?  Well, that is a whole different matter.  Someone that responds to your tweets, e-mails and direct messages…well, you just might not matter to them in real life.

There were people there that I would consider MY people. People that would hold my arms up just like Aaron and Hur held up Moses’ arms.  Yet, I still felt lost.  

And lonely.  

And unimportant.

I wrote about the experience here.

Deep down I know that I am unimportant and the one that really matters is the Lord.  But I also know that I am important to him.  That I matter.  That I am somebody. 

I realize that when I get overwhelmed, when I get too busy, when I get lost in MY stuff and MY day and MY schedule, that I lose sight of HIM.  And in a few days I will feel less than.

I am finding my way through my schedule to get back to my routine of quiet time with Him.  In the morning, when it works best for me.

My online friend, Barbie, (yeah, I can’t believe I just wrote that!) has a new devotional book called Coffee with Jesus.  It was just released two days ago.  I heard about it today and bought it this morning.  And day one blessed me so much.  I could feel the presence of the Lord as I quietly read and reflected on the words.  Currently, it is only available in the Kindle version, but the hard copy should be available in a few days.  I plan to purchase one to giveaway in this space.

I have always liked Barbie’s writing and this book is an extension of her.  And just wonderful.  

Here are is an affiliate link you can check out the book for yourself. Or…sign up to receive my posts via e-mail and know what I make the giveaway available!

Do you ever feel like you don’t matter?  
Or that you are less than?  
How do you overcome those feelings?

Linking with Jennifer today


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