If you have read this blog for long, you know that I took a class at the community college this spring and last night was my final. Pretty emotional day and with all that was going on with Andy, I had found it very difficult to concentrate and stay focused. But…I went and took the test. Came home and folded laundry. John had been working the whole time I was gone trying to put away Andy’s stuff and clean up some of the mess. We were both exhausted from getting up at 4 a.m. Then it was 10 p.m. and we were crawling into bed…and I began to cry. It is the still of the night that is the hardest. It is the still of the night when things settle down that I begin to think (again) what a mistake I feel Andy is making…then my husband, wonderful spiritual leader of our home said, “I really feel it God is working in this and it is in his hands.” I cannot tell you the peace that I felt…I had been saying that, trying to embrace it but really struggling with it. Even in the midst of the mess, I want to praise Him for the journey. I want to lift my eyes and say thank you.
Thank you, Lord, for this time…this difficult time that I do not understand, but trust you are working in the mess. Help me to remember this in the darkest of times and I thank you for the mountains I cannot climb…without your help…you will calm the ocean in me and I thank you. Please take care of Andy.
To all of you that are praying for Andy…thank you. What mountain is in your life that you can’t climb without His help? Aren’t we fortunate to be His children and have Him to count on!
Strength will raise as we wait upon the Lord. When my worship leader husband plays this I always fight back tears. It is such a hard thing to do and to believe. Grace and peace.