Now Thomas (called Didymus), one of the Twelve,
was not with the disciples when Jesus came.
 So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!”
But he said to them,
“Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and
put my finger where the nails were,
and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it.”
A week later his disciples were in the house again,
and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked,
Jesus came and stood among them and said,
“Peace be with you!”
Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here;
see my hands. Reach out your hand
 and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”
Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!”
Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed;
blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”
John 20:24-29 (NIV)
For as long as I can remember, I have known who “Doubting Thomas” was.  When I was young, if I was skeptical about something my Mother knew was fact, she would say, “Don’t be a Doubting Thomas.”  Things are no different today, when I am in the late sunset of my 40s, than they were when I was young…sometimes I am still a Doubting Thomas.  Not so much from the tangible, concrete, I know for certain things, but from the I know He is in control, I know He has a plan I do not know, I know His ways are not my ways types of things.  I want to be one of the disciples that “have not seen and yet have believed.”  To do that, I must have faith.  Faith to reach out my hand into the darkness, believing that He will be there to hold my hand, to lead me out of the darkness, into the light.  It is very easy for me to get caught up in what is wrong with my life and lose sight of what is right…today, I need and want to see what is right.  I am thinking specifically of my son, Andy, I do not know what the plan is for him or where he is going, but I have to trust that the Lord knows what is going on and I have to trust that He will take care of him.  I also have to believe and remember that my ways are not His ways and that He may not work things out in the way I would like.  I know that my husband and I raised Andy in the right way, brought him up in a loving, Christian home.  Was it perfect?  Absolutely not.  But, then I don’t believe any home is perfect and I (we) certainly did what we felt was best at the time.  So…  
Yesterday was Andy’s birthday, we went to see him and took him to lunch…and he informed us of his plans.  He says he has prayed about his choice, sought council from people he trusts and is making the choice that he (Andy) believes is right for him at this point in time.  It is a choice that is hard for me to accept.  BUT…Andy is 22 years old.  He is no longer a child and must make his own decisions.  Today Lord, I am asking for courage to trust You, to trust that Andy has truly prayed about the decisions he has made. Lord, I ask that you be with him, lead him, guide him, guard him and PLEASE protect him.  Please give me the courage to trust you Lord, not to be a doubting Thomas.  To trust Andy’s judgement and to trust that You will take care of him.  Give Andy the courage he needs to make the hard choices.  Give me the courage to accept whatever comes my way.
Thank you for reading this today…I hope you have a blessed day and if you think about it, would you please pray for Andy too?  Thanks.
I saw this out my window on Friday…

In the midst of all the mess…I still have much for which to be thankful, so I continue count my blessings…
56. much needed rain.
57. time spent with family.
58. trials that help me grow.
59. bluebirds out my window.
60. woodpeckers on my walk.
61. a opportunity to listen.
62. a opportunity to keep my mouth shut!
63. a warm shower.
64. a glass of red wine.
65. a good friend in another state.


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