Have you ever flown in an airplane and looked out the window and seen the earth below? Things look very different from up there! Have you ever seen the pictures of the earth that have been taken from outer space? Things look very different from up there!! How about the ocean? The mountains? The ocean looks different when we are standing on the beach than it does in a picture. And those big mountains out west? Well, they look big in pictures and 10, 12 or 14,000 feet SOUNDS really big, but it isn’t until I see it in person that I get a true sense of just HOW big it really is! The way we see things depends a lot on our perspective. Many times how I see things depends on my circumstances…what is going on in my life at a particular time. I don’t get to see the whole picture…only what is happening at a particular moment in time. If I could just let go of the worry about tomorrow, let go of the what ifs…
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow,
for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Matthew 6:34
No matter what I have going on in my life, I need to remember that HE, the Lord, is in charge. HE sees the whole picture. One of the things I love most about my husband is the fact that no matter WHAT is going on in our lives, no matter HOW BAD I may think things are, no matter WHAT. PERIOD…my husband has a good outlook, a different perspective. He will almost always says something like, “I am at peace. I can see God’s hand in the situation.” So…I rejoice today that God is at work…in the lives of people I love, in the lives of people I don’t know and most certainly in my own life.
Lord, thank you for the reminder that You are in charge and You see the whole picture. Thank you for my husband and the spiritual leadership he brings to our home. Thank you for the many blessings you have bestowed upon me and my family. I ask, Lord, for your continued healing for my Dad & brother-in-law and for you to continue to work in the lives of those I love. Bless the readers of this blog, please grant them a peaceful day.
I was very productive on Tuesday and got a lot of work done around the house…yesterday? Well, not so much. I am hoping that today is another productive day. Hardwood floors are calling my name today…ugh!!!
What is your perspective? Are you someone that can take a step back and try to see the WHOLE picture or are you more like me and get bogged down in the moment? In today’s reflection in Hope for Each Day, Billy Graham writes “Don’t get bogged down. Keep your eyes on God, for he sees the whole picture, and He knows what is best for you. You can trust him, because He loves you.” That is some pretty good advice and a great promise!
A really good post, Mary…lots to think about here. Where is my perspective? Honestly it is more times than I'd care to admit feeling overwhelmed because I have to be reminded that God is in control…that He sees the BIG picture. I tend to focus on what is around me at a given time. Thank you, Mary, for the challenge to work past that.
Mary, I just wanted to come back and thank you for mentioning that to me about removing the old background from my blog. I hadn't gone down far enough when I started looking for the java script for it. I looked again, clicked that button and presto! Background changed to its new look. It is a LOT of brown, but I think there is enough variation in the shades that it is still appealing.
It is so true what you way about perspective. Seeing the big picture is often very difficult. I get stymied by the littlest things and lose sight of the big picture and how God really does have His hand on my. Thank you for your thoughts and I hope your floors get done today! blessings ~a
Hey Mary, your dear hubby sounds like a gem of a man–and what an incomparable blessing that he leads out spiritually–
Your post was right on–we want to see the whole picture when God wants us to trust Him with how it all eventually will look–we see the knots and tangles here and there and he see the beautiful finished tapestry.
In what seemed like the blink of an eye, those young 20 somethings were married for 41 years.
The second photo was taken last year on our 40th anniversary. I didn`t post it because I didn`t like the way my legs looked. Something happened in the last year and I`m reminded that those legs have carried me for 62 years (when the photo was taken). Carried me through 3 pregnancies that gifted me with one living child, @coach_andy_bonner
The last photo was taken on Tuesday as we sat on the beach and a lady walked by and said, "would you like me to take your picture?" We said yes. Time with John is still one of my favorite things. He retired on Friday, before we left on Monday for this trip. There are so many unknowns but so much to be grateful for and so much to look forward to in the next stage.
I`m grateful for my clients that give me something to do every day Monday-Friday. @christiepurifoy @kriscamealy @bekah @whatlolalikes @abby_roadhome & to the wonderful team @parkermanagement-you guys all make my life so fun!
And I`m grateful for time at a place like this. Sand and water...not sure there is anything better!
Happy Anniversary Week to my love that is not on ANY social media channel!
She died 4 days after she was born. We buried her 4 days after she died.
Born 6-9-1992
Died 6-12-1992
Buried 6-16-1992
That would be 31 years ago today.
Last year, on the 30th anniversary of her birth we re-buried her on the grounds of St. Emma Monastery Greensburg, PA where her paternal grandparents are buried.
This year, today has been harder than Friday, June 9 the day she was born. Or Monday, June 12 the day she died.
I`ve cried more today than either of the other days.
I took a walk.
Got a pedicure.
Cried.
And chose a simple dinner of appetizers.
And I give myself permission to do nothing else.
I am thankful for the time we had her. For the experience and the things I learned about myself through the experience.
John and I are very conscious of what we say yes to and what we say no to. All because of Amy`s short life.
I`ve tried to use my experience to help others experiencing infant loss-or any loss. Some things are the same no matter the age of the deceased. Even if it is a loss thru miscarriage. I`ve experienced that too.
A loss is a loss.
Thank you to my sister and niece @sherrigd @tarahelise for letting us spend last weekend on your porch crying, laughing, and drinking wine and margaritas. I love you guys more than you know and I really needed that.
In what seems like the blink of an eye, it is 31 years later. Not a day goes by that I do not think of her.
My heart still hurts.
I cry at random times.
And I miss her. Still. 31 years later.
I grieve all the things that didn`t happen.
The relationships.
The life events.
Strangely though there are fewer tears today. Sometimes I think my tears are all gone. The well is dry.
Lack of tears does not mean lack of grief. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. So I accept my emotions today-whatever they may be.
If you know someone that has experienced a loss, don`t be afraid to tell them you remember. Let them know you care. Take a meal, send a text, write and snail mail a card. We want to know our loss is not forgotten.
I cried in church. Not because I was thinking about the events leading up to the crucifixion but because there was a little girl of about 5 or so sitting in front of me. She had the most gorgeous dark hair. With streaks of gold running through it. Natural streaks. Not the artificial colored streaks I pay more than I`m willing to share to get every few months.
As I observed her I thought about my own daughter. The one that died at 4 days old.
I thought of how she might be standing next to me this morning or next Sunday on Easter. Maybe she would have travelled to Charlotte to spend some time with her dad and me.
Grief is something that robs us of so much. It robs me of not just my daughter but it robs me of being the mom of a daughter.
I look at some of my closest friends, all mothers of daughters and I envy, yes ENVY!, the relationships they all have with their daughters. They may not agree with them on all things or see eye-to-eye with them but the daughters lead the charge to throw surprise 60th birthday parties for their parents or make sure that mom gets a Mother`s Day card, a birthday card, etc.
I think daughters are different than sons. Daughters are more sensitive than sons based on my observations as an outsider. I do not experience that sensitivity. And I grieve the fact that I am not the mother of a daughter.
The version of me before Amy`s death is totally different than the me that is here now.
If you want to read more about about my daughter, Amy, you can go to https://marybonner.net/?s=Amy and read more about my journey through infant loss and moving forward.
Adam McHugh`s book Blood From a Stone is a beautiful piece of writing about returning from the dead. I encourage you to check it out. You can find the book on Amazon or wherever books are sold. Find and follow him @adammchughwine You won`t be sorry.
"Grief is so agonizing not only because you have lost something, but you have lost someone, and that someone is the version of you that was alive before your loss." Blood From a Stone Adam McHugh Page 102
Every June I think I`m going to handle this better. Whatever better looks like - I don`t know. 30 years and I still cry at random times. And every June I fall apart.
She would have been 30 next week. Instead of whisking her off for a 30th birthday trip to Key West like we did for her brother @coach_andy_bonner or Niagara Falls like we did for his wife we will make another kind of trip.
There will be a mass next Saturday and we will stand at a grave site as we move her body from the small town where she was buried to a final resting place by her paternal grandparents on the beautiful grounds of St Emma Monastery in Greensburg, PA.
I look forward to the weekend and I dread it all at the same time.
Today I broke down and sobbed. Just like yesterday. And probably will tomorrow. But I remember that He catches my tears in a bottle Psalm 56:8
If I learned anything from this life experience, it is this: I can do hard things. But not of my own strength. Philippians 4:13
A really good post, Mary…lots to think about here. Where is my perspective? Honestly it is more times than I'd care to admit feeling overwhelmed because I have to be reminded that God is in control…that He sees the BIG picture. I tend to focus on what is around me at a given time. Thank you, Mary, for the challenge to work past that.
Mary, I just wanted to come back and thank you for mentioning that to me about removing the old background from my blog. I hadn't gone down far enough when I started looking for the java script for it. I looked again, clicked that button and presto! Background changed to its new look. It is a LOT of brown, but I think there is enough variation in the shades that it is still appealing.
ahhhhh..well said.
It is so true what you way about perspective. Seeing the big picture is often very difficult. I get stymied by the littlest things and lose sight of the big picture and how God really does have His hand on my.
Thank you for your thoughts and I hope your floors get done today!
blessings
~a
Well said, Mary.
Hey Mary, your dear hubby sounds like a gem of a man–and what an incomparable blessing that he leads out spiritually–
Your post was right on–we want to see the whole picture when God wants us to trust Him with how it all eventually will look–we see the knots and tangles here and there and he see the beautiful finished tapestry.
Oh, to trust Him more with the big picture.
Love, Dianne
Great reminder Mary!