To be your bread now, be your wine now,
Lord, come and change us to be a sign of your love.

We sang this song at church yesterday.  When we got to this line, I shed a tear.  Actually, I shed a few tears.  This line in this song was tearing at my heart. 

Lord, come and change us to be a sign of your love.
Is that REALLY what I want?  Yes, I believe it is, but change is HARD.

It requires getting out of my comfort zone.

It requires me to do things that I don’t necessarily want or like to do.

And it requires me to let go.

Let go of some things that hold me back.  Things that bog me down. 

There is a lot of talk in the “blog-o-sphere” about being real.  Not just putting the good, pretty stuff out there for people to read.  But real, sometimes ugly and not-so-good.  And it would be an accurate statement to say that my weekend contained some ugly and not-so-good.

You see, Sunday morning wasn’t my best morning.  For that matter, Saturday wasn’t so great either.   Not for any reason that I can put my finger on, but I was being difficult and hard to get along with.   That must SURELY shock you. *smile*  I don’t know why my days were so difficult.  I don’t know why I was so hard to get along with, but I knew – the instant I heard these words – that I did want to change.  I did not want to spend the rest of my weekend being ornery and difficult.  

I thought about the words.  I thought about the changes I needed to make.  I thought about how hard it can be to change.  But I knew it was necessary.  Changes had to be made.  

It wasn’t easy.  But I was able to talk a few things out and John helped me see some things in a different light.  

And slowly…things began to improve.  

WHY am I SO stubborn????

Lord, you use interesting things to reach me.  The words in a song.  Beautiful scenes in nature.  All of you creation…thank you for using these things to speak to me.  Thank you for your patience, for hearing my cry.

I continue counting my gifts…

637. a husband that listens.
639. good friends.
640. good music.
641. a fun Friday.
642. a family of all girls that invited me on a shopping trip.
643. great outlet mall finds.
644. lessons learned.
645. safety.
646. opportunities for grace.
647. gifts of love.
648. Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. (not an affiliated link)
649. second chances.
650. air condintioning.
651. power.
652. readers of this blog.

Joining with Michelle at Graceful for Hear It on Sunday, Use It on Monday

And Ann at A Holy Experience for Multitude Mondays.
Friends, I am trying to get back to writing.  To sharing my thoughts.  To some manner of filling this space that will fit into my life and schedule.  I am trying to listen to what He is saying about this space and what I should do with it.  There are times that I feel my words are good.  Others not so good.  But I am humbled and grateful for your presence here.
Hugs & blessings~~


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