Wednesday wonder…

by Mary Bonner | Sep 29, 2010 | Uncategorized | 7 comments

So if you’re serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ,

act like it.

Pursue the things over which Christ presides.

Don’t shuffle along, eyes to the ground,

absorbed with the things right in front of you.

Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that’s where the action is. See things from his perspective.

Colossians 3:1-2 (The Message)

I is likely that I will not see another sunrise over the ocean until next summer. Yet, I will have the opportunity to see to God’s handiwork every day…if I just “Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ.” It is easy for me to keep my head down, buried in what I think is so important at the moment…but I need to look up, see what is going on around Him and give thanks, be patient and TRUST.

Lord, thank you for this gem of scripture that you sent to me this morning. Help me to look up, to be alert to the many, many blessing you have in store for me – not just today, but everyday. Help me to look up when I feel overworked, tired, stressed…happy, joyful and carefree…ALL of these are gifts from you, even if some do not feel like gifts at the time. Thank you for the lessons I am learning from the various things going on around me and in my life. I have SO many blessings and ALL are gifts from YOU. I praise you and I thank you. Help me to pursue the things over which you preside. Help me to see you in the ordinary, in the daily, in the mundane and in the “I have too much to do moments.” You are there, I just need to look for you. Thank you for the gift of your son and the gift of eternal life through him.

One of my bests gifts is pictured here…not the motorcycle…the 6’6″ young man standing behind it. He has had it a few months, but I don’t think I’ve ever posted this picture. For some reason, I felt compelled to share this today. God is teaching me so many things about relationships, since Andy moved away…good things, things that require patience, things that require love, things that require TRUST in Him (the Lord) and trusting Andy…He will take care of Andy, just as he takes care of me.

Lord, thank you…for ALL of it…the good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly, the extraordinary and the mundane…ALL are gifts from you. I thank you and I praise you for all you are doing in my life and that of my family.

Thanks for stopping by. I hope you have a great day, filled with reminders of what a great God we serve! Remember to… Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that’s where the action is

What is YOUR Wednesday wonder???

7 Comments

mom2six on September 29, 2010 at 7:13 pm

Thanks Mary! I am studying through the Psalms of Ascent and one of the key focus areas is moving up with the Lord. Two verses come to mind…"I lift my eyes up to the hills where does my help come from?" Psalm 121:1 and "I lift my eyes to you, to you whose throne is in heaven." Psalm 123:1 These two verses together with the Colossians verse you quoted are such encouragement to me today.
Reply
Annesta on September 30, 2010 at 1:17 am

Mary,
Your post deeply touched me today. How precious are the truths that you write in your blog. And I really like the way the message interprets God's word. It is so true that we can neglect to see what God has for us if we do not look up…if we are so self absorbed that we see only what is in front of our nose.
Praying for you!
~a
Reply
Natalie on September 30, 2010 at 5:26 pm

Thanks for the reminder to be alert and on the lookout for Him, Mary! He is good- all the time.
Reply
Sarah Oldham on October 2, 2010 at 7:37 am

Nice reminder. I needed that today. God bless you.
Reply
Pam on October 2, 2010 at 12:32 pm

Mary,

Oh, I was meant to stop by here today. You posted it Wednesday, but God brought me here today because I need to hear it and because, I think, I can receive this today.

I've been awake since 4:00 a.m. working on something that's really stressful for me now. It's in an ongoing area where God is asking me to trust him. There's a battle going on for my trust and much of that is because I'm spending too much time being busy and shuffling along and just looking at the ground in front of me to get through the busyness of the day. Thank you, thank you for this reminder today. I am going to take this scripture and see if I can make a jpg for wallpaper for my computer. If I can make that work, I'll show you.

Did you take the sunrise picture? It's beautiful! It turns my mind toward God in peace.

Thank you!
Pam
Reply
Mary333 on October 3, 2010 at 12:35 am

Great post, Mary! Life sure runs smoother if we keep our eyes on the Lord. I should place a sign on my wall reminding me of this!
Reply
Dianne on October 3, 2010 at 8:50 pm

"Lord, thank you…for ALL of it…the good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly, the extraordinary and the mundane…ALL are gifts from you. I thank you and I praise you for all you are doing in my life and that of my family."

Mary, that is such an important attitude to have when we pray–to be thankful for it all–what we think is ugly may in fact be one of the most beautiful or meaningful things going on in our lives right now.

We just don't see it until the picture is finished.

Beautiful post today–well, last Wednesday. I am a little slow getting around to all my blog friends after the trip to see my kids.

Love you,
D.
Reply

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In what seemed like the blink of an eye, those young 20 somethings were married for 41 years.

The second photo was taken last year on our 40th anniversary. I didn`t post it because I didn`t like the way my legs looked. Something happened in the last year and I`m reminded that those legs have carried me for 62 years (when the photo was taken). Carried me through 3 pregnancies that gifted me with one living child, @coach_andy_bonner

The last photo was taken on Tuesday as we sat on the beach and a lady walked by and said, "would you like me to take your picture?" We said yes. Time with John is still one of my favorite things. He retired on Friday, before we left on Monday for this trip. There are so many unknowns but so much to be grateful for and so much to look forward to in the next stage.

I`m grateful for my clients that give me something to do every day Monday-Friday. @christiepurifoy @kriscamealy @bekah @whatlolalikes @abby_roadhome & to the wonderful team @parkermanagement-you guys all make my life so fun!

And I`m grateful for time at a place like this. Sand and water...not sure there is anything better!

Happy Anniversary Week to my love that is not on ANY social media channel!

May 9

Open

In what seemed like the blink of an eye, those young 20 somethings were married for 41 years.

The second photo was taken last year on our 40th anniversary. I didn't post it because I didn't like the way my legs looked. Something happened in the last year and I'm reminded that those legs have carried me for 62 years (when the photo was taken). Carried me through 3 pregnancies that gifted me with one living child, @coach_andy_bonner

The last photo was taken on Tuesday as we sat on the beach and a lady walked by and said, "would you like me to take your picture?" We said yes. Time with John is still one of my favorite things. He retired on Friday, before we left on Monday for this trip. There are so many unknowns but so much to be grateful for and so much to look forward to in the next stage.

I'm grateful for my clients that give me something to do every day Monday-Friday. @christiepurifoy @kriscamealy @bekah @whatlolalikes @abby_roadhome & to the wonderful team @parkermanagement-you guys all make my life so fun!

And I'm grateful for time at a place like this. Sand and water...not sure there is anything better!

Happy Anniversary Week to my love that is not on ANY social media channel!

She died 4 days after she was born. We buried her 4 days after she died.

Born 6-9-1992

Died 6-12-1992

Buried 6-16-1992

That would be 31 years ago today.

Last year, on the 30th anniversary of her birth we re-buried her on the grounds of St. Emma Monastery Greensburg, PA where her paternal grandparents are buried.

This year, today has been harder than Friday, June 9 the day she was born. Or Monday, June 12 the day she died.

I`ve cried more today than either of the other days.

I took a walk.

Got a pedicure.

Cried.

And chose a simple dinner of appetizers.

And I give myself permission to do nothing else.

I am thankful for the time we had her. For the experience and the things I learned about myself through the experience.

John and I are very conscious of what we say yes to and what we say no to. All because of Amy`s short life.

I`ve tried to use my experience to help others experiencing infant loss-or any loss. Some things are the same no matter the age of the deceased. Even if it is a loss thru miscarriage. I`ve experienced that too.

A loss is a loss.

Thank you to my sister and niece @sherrigd @tarahelise for letting us spend last weekend on your porch crying, laughing, and drinking wine and margaritas. I love you guys more than you know and I really needed that.

#infantloss #trisomy18 #stlouischildrenshospital #grief

Jun 16

Open

She died 4 days after she was born. We buried her 4 days after she died.

Born 6-9-1992

Died 6-12-1992

Buried 6-16-1992

That would be 31 years ago today.

Last year, on the 30th anniversary of her birth we re-buried her on the grounds of St. Emma Monastery Greensburg, PA where her paternal grandparents are buried.

This year, today has been harder than Friday, June 9 the day she was born. Or Monday, June 12 the day she died.

I've cried more today than either of the other days.

I took a walk.

Got a pedicure.

Cried.

And chose a simple dinner of appetizers.

And I give myself permission to do nothing else.

I am thankful for the time we had her. For the experience and the things I learned about myself through the experience.

John and I are very conscious of what we say yes to and what we say no to. All because of Amy's short life.

I've tried to use my experience to help others experiencing infant loss-or any loss. Some things are the same no matter the age of the deceased. Even if it is a loss thru miscarriage. I've experienced that too.

A loss is a loss.

Thank you to my sister and niece @sherrigd @tarahelise for letting us spend last weekend on your porch crying, laughing, and drinking wine and margaritas. I love you guys more than you know and I really needed that.

#infantloss #trisomy18 #stlouischildrenshospital #grief

In what seems like the blink of an eye, it is 31 years later. Not a day goes by that I do not think of her.

My heart still hurts.

I cry at random times.

And I miss her. Still. 31 years later.

I grieve all the things that didn`t happen.

The relationships.

The life events.

Strangely though there are fewer tears today. Sometimes I think my tears are all gone. The well is dry.

Lack of tears does not mean lack of grief. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. So I accept my emotions today-whatever they may be.

If you know someone that has experienced a loss, don`t be afraid to tell them you remember. Let them know you care. Take a meal, send a text, write and snail mail a card. We want to know our loss is not forgotten.

#infantloss #trisomy18 #stlouischildrenshospital #grief

Jun 9

Open

In what seems like the blink of an eye, it is 31 years later. Not a day goes by that I do not think of her.

My heart still hurts.

I cry at random times.

And I miss her. Still. 31 years later.

I grieve all the things that didn't happen.

The relationships.

The life events.

Strangely though there are fewer tears today. Sometimes I think my tears are all gone. The well is dry.

Lack of tears does not mean lack of grief. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. So I accept my emotions today-whatever they may be.

If you know someone that has experienced a loss, don't be afraid to tell them you remember. Let them know you care. Take a meal, send a text, write and snail mail a card. We want to know our loss is not forgotten.

#infantloss #trisomy18 #stlouischildrenshospital #grief

Today is Palm Sunday.

I cried in church. Not because I was thinking about the events leading up to the crucifixion but because there was a little girl of about 5 or so sitting in front of me. She had the most gorgeous dark hair. With streaks of gold running through it. Natural streaks. Not the artificial colored streaks I pay more than I`m willing to share to get every few months.

As I observed her I thought about my own daughter. The one that died at 4 days old.

I thought of how she might be standing next to me this morning or next Sunday on Easter. Maybe she would have travelled to Charlotte to spend some time with her dad and me.

Grief is something that robs us of so much. It robs me of not just my daughter but it robs me of being the mom of a daughter.

I look at some of my closest friends, all mothers of daughters and I envy, yes ENVY!, the relationships they all have with their daughters. They may not agree with them on all things or see eye-to-eye with them but the daughters lead the charge to throw surprise 60th birthday parties for their parents or make sure that mom gets a Mother`s Day card, a birthday card, etc.

I think daughters are different than sons. Daughters are more sensitive than sons based on my observations as an outsider. I do not experience that sensitivity.
And I grieve the fact that I am not the mother of a daughter.

The version of me before Amy`s death is totally different than the me that is here now.

If you want to read more about about my daughter, Amy, you can go to https://marybonner.net/?s=Amy and read more about my journey through infant loss and moving forward.

Adam McHugh`s book Blood From a Stone is a beautiful piece of writing about returning from the dead. I encourage you to check it out. You can find the book on Amazon or wherever books are sold. Find and follow him @adammchughwine You won`t be sorry.

"Grief is so agonizing not only because you have lost something, but you have lost someone, and that someone is the version of you that was alive before your loss."
Blood From a Stone
Adam McHugh
Page 102

Apr 2

Open

Today is Palm Sunday.

I cried in church. Not because I was thinking about the events leading up to the crucifixion but because there was a little girl of about 5 or so sitting in front of me. She had the most gorgeous dark hair. With streaks of gold running through it. Natural streaks. Not the artificial colored streaks I pay more than I'm willing to share to get every few months.

As I observed her I thought about my own daughter. The one that died at 4 days old.

I thought of how she might be standing next to me this morning or next Sunday on Easter. Maybe she would have travelled to Charlotte to spend some time with her dad and me.

Grief is something that robs us of so much. It robs me of not just my daughter but it robs me of being the mom of a daughter.

I look at some of my closest friends, all mothers of daughters and I envy, yes ENVY!, the relationships they all have with their daughters. They may not agree with them on all things or see eye-to-eye with them but the daughters lead the charge to throw surprise 60th birthday parties for their parents or make sure that mom gets a Mother's Day card, a birthday card, etc.

I think daughters are different than sons. Daughters are more sensitive than sons based on my observations as an outsider. I do not experience that sensitivity.
And I grieve the fact that I am not the mother of a daughter.

The version of me before Amy's death is totally different than the me that is here now.

If you want to read more about about my daughter, Amy, you can go to https://marybonner.net/?s=Amy and read more about my journey through infant loss and moving forward.

Adam McHugh's book Blood From a Stone is a beautiful piece of writing about returning from the dead. I encourage you to check it out. You can find the book on Amazon or wherever books are sold. Find and follow him @adammchughwine You won't be sorry.

"Grief is so agonizing not only because you have lost something, but you have lost someone, and that someone is the version of you that was alive before your loss."
Blood From a Stone
Adam McHugh
Page 102

@coach_andy_bonner made me a mom. His wife, Ashley, made me a mother-in-law. Happy Anniversary to them! 6 years and counting. Dad and I love you!

Aug 6

Open

@coach_andy_bonner made me a mom. His wife, Ashley, made me a mother-in-law. Happy Anniversary to them! 6 years and counting. Dad and I love you!

Every June I think I`m going to handle this better. Whatever better looks like - I don`t know. 30 years and I still cry at random times. And every June I fall apart.

She would have been 30 next week. Instead of whisking her off for a 30th birthday trip to Key West like we did for her brother @coach_andy_bonner or Niagara Falls like we did for his wife we will make another kind of trip.

There will be a mass next Saturday and we will stand at a grave site as we move her body from the small town where she was buried to a final resting place by her paternal grandparents on the beautiful grounds of St Emma Monastery in Greensburg, PA.

I look forward to the weekend and I dread it all at the same time.

Today I broke down and sobbed. Just like yesterday. And probably will tomorrow. But I remember that He catches my tears in a bottle Psalm 56:8

If I learned anything from
this life experience, it is this: I can do hard things. But not of my own strength. Philippians 4:13

And live to tell about.

Amy Elizabeth Bonner
Jun 9, 1992 - Jun 12, 1992

#infantloss #psalm56
#trisomy18 #philippians413 #childloss #infantlosssurvivor