When God used a coffee pot to teach a lesson…

by Mary Bonner | Dec 2, 2013 | Uncategorized | 11 comments

I guess in a way, it is funny. But really, it isn’t funny at all.

This morning, I had resolved that I was going to get my quiet time back on track. I was going to prayerfully and thoughtfully go about my time in The Word.

I slept well. I woke up earlier that I have been waking up and it looked like all was going well.

I started the coffee pot. Gathered a couple of items. Went back to get my coffee and realized the pot hadn’t even started.

The coffee pot was broken. It had power, but wasn’t brewing.

Luckily, I had a small 4 cup coffee maker in the basement. I got it ready and started another pot of coffee…albeit, a SMALL pot of coffee!

I went to the office and got settled with my Bible, notebook, journal, etc.

Andy comes in and needs to use the computer and printer to print two things before he heads off to class.

Naturally, I get up. You can’t tell you kid he can’t be prepared for class! It is the week before finals. Well, I guess I could have told him no…but that just doesn’t seem right.

So, I get up and go to the family room and start to shed a few tears.

Seriously?!?!? I know that is what you are thinking. How could I be upset over sharing a computer and printer and having my coffee be delayed?

What can I say? Sometimes, I am pretty shallow.

But, friends…that is just what needed this morning to see how messed up I was…I AM!

I had just read in John how the angel came to Mary. I was thinking about Advent and the time leading to the birth of our Lord.

He was born in a stable! Mary was nine months pregnant. I am sure a stable is just where she wanted to be!!

There are people in this world…in my city that had no place to sleep last night.

There are people in this world…in my city without food to eat or proper health care.

I think I can endure the slight inconvenience of delayed coffee gratification.

It is easy for me…maybe you too?…to get caught up in my own world.

I want to see beyond MY world. Beyond MY life. Beyond MY…period.

Jesus, help me, this Advent season to focus on you and what you would have me do.

Help me to not be so engrossed in my life that I miss the opportunities you

have for me to grow, to learn and to share.

A coffee pot. Who would have thought a coffee pot

could be used to teach a life lesson?

What ordinary things is he using to teach you a lesson?

Tomorrow I have a special post…it involves cookies!

Be sure to check back tomorrow.

AND…I have told you about my online friend Barbie and her new

devotional book, Coffee with Jesus (affiliate link).

I think this book is so good that I am going to give away copy.

Leave a comment on this post and I will choose a winner using Random.org.

If you want to tweet about this giveaway or post on Facebook,

you may do so and get an additional entry for each. Leave an additional comment

for the tweet and post.

This giveaway will close Friday, December 6, 2013 at midnight.

Sorry, but this contest is only open to residents of the United States.

Linking with Michelle today.

11 Comments

BARBIE on December 2, 2013 at 5:35 pm

I love how God uses the most simplest of things to teach us the most profound lessons. I will be focusing on the simple joys of Christmas this advent season. Praying you have a beautiful day!
Reply
- Mary Bonner on December 3, 2013 at 12:25 am
  
  I love it too, Barbie. But I love it the most when I can SEE the lesson. Hugs to you friend.
  Reply
Lisa on December 2, 2013 at 8:04 pm

Oh, yes, I totally understand crying over a broken pot and having to share a computer. ha. I had a far worse breakdown myself last week over some words (and lack of words) from my teenage daughter that I took way out of proportion. I realized then (as I do often) that I'm really messed up too. Makes us all the more thankful for his grace to forgive us and to transform us! Have a blessed week, Mary. You have been such a blessing to me through the kind words you always share. (I'll be looking forward to tomorrow's cookies.)
Reply
- Mary Bonner on December 3, 2013 at 12:27 am
  
  Look at this, Lisa!! I figured out how to get your comment here, even after I accidentally deleted it. As I told you in my e-mail, I know all about blowing things out of proportion!!
  Reply
confidentingrace on December 2, 2013 at 8:05 pm

I'm always amazed at what God uses to teach us, especially everyday objects. 🙂 Thanks for sharing this at Hear It, Use It.
Reply
- Mary Bonner on December 3, 2013 at 12:27 am
  
  Thank you so much for dropping by. I am also amazed at the things he uses everyday to teach me!
  Reply
Beth on December 2, 2013 at 8:46 pm

God is amazing isn't He? I loved your prayer…"Jesus, help me, this Advent season to focus on you…." I woke with the same feeling yesterday. He has planted this desire this Advent season to seek Him with all my heart.

And don't you just love Barbie! Love how she introduces us to other bloggers and simply LOVE her new book. I will be giving away a copy next week.

Many blessings to you.

Beth
Reply
- Mary Bonner on December 3, 2013 at 12:28 am
  
  Yes, Beth, God IS amazing!! And I DO so love Barbie!! And her book is awesome!!
  Reply
Kathleen on December 2, 2013 at 11:23 pm

Those best laid plans….and here you were just trying to PRAY for goodness sake!! I would have cried too, but at least you saw the lesson in it. It is hard for me too. I am living in my own world recently and it's not making me very happy. I guess we're both learning.
Reply
- Mary Bonner on December 3, 2013 at 12:29 am
  
  Life is all about learning…praying for you Kathleen.
  Reply
GLENDA CHILDERS on December 3, 2013 at 2:41 am

I like coffee or tea with my Bible, too. 🙂

Fondly, Glenda
Reply

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In what seemed like the blink of an eye, those young 20 somethings were married for 41 years.

The second photo was taken last year on our 40th anniversary. I didn`t post it because I didn`t like the way my legs looked. Something happened in the last year and I`m reminded that those legs have carried me for 62 years (when the photo was taken). Carried me through 3 pregnancies that gifted me with one living child, @coach_andy_bonner

The last photo was taken on Tuesday as we sat on the beach and a lady walked by and said, "would you like me to take your picture?" We said yes. Time with John is still one of my favorite things. He retired on Friday, before we left on Monday for this trip. There are so many unknowns but so much to be grateful for and so much to look forward to in the next stage.

I`m grateful for my clients that give me something to do every day Monday-Friday. @christiepurifoy @kriscamealy @bekah @whatlolalikes @abby_roadhome & to the wonderful team @parkermanagement-you guys all make my life so fun!

And I`m grateful for time at a place like this. Sand and water...not sure there is anything better!

Happy Anniversary Week to my love that is not on ANY social media channel!

May 9

Open

In what seemed like the blink of an eye, those young 20 somethings were married for 41 years.

The second photo was taken last year on our 40th anniversary. I didn't post it because I didn't like the way my legs looked. Something happened in the last year and I'm reminded that those legs have carried me for 62 years (when the photo was taken). Carried me through 3 pregnancies that gifted me with one living child, @coach_andy_bonner

The last photo was taken on Tuesday as we sat on the beach and a lady walked by and said, "would you like me to take your picture?" We said yes. Time with John is still one of my favorite things. He retired on Friday, before we left on Monday for this trip. There are so many unknowns but so much to be grateful for and so much to look forward to in the next stage.

I'm grateful for my clients that give me something to do every day Monday-Friday. @christiepurifoy @kriscamealy @bekah @whatlolalikes @abby_roadhome & to the wonderful team @parkermanagement-you guys all make my life so fun!

And I'm grateful for time at a place like this. Sand and water...not sure there is anything better!

Happy Anniversary Week to my love that is not on ANY social media channel!

She died 4 days after she was born. We buried her 4 days after she died.

Born 6-9-1992

Died 6-12-1992

Buried 6-16-1992

That would be 31 years ago today.

Last year, on the 30th anniversary of her birth we re-buried her on the grounds of St. Emma Monastery Greensburg, PA where her paternal grandparents are buried.

This year, today has been harder than Friday, June 9 the day she was born. Or Monday, June 12 the day she died.

I`ve cried more today than either of the other days.

I took a walk.

Got a pedicure.

Cried.

And chose a simple dinner of appetizers.

And I give myself permission to do nothing else.

I am thankful for the time we had her. For the experience and the things I learned about myself through the experience.

John and I are very conscious of what we say yes to and what we say no to. All because of Amy`s short life.

I`ve tried to use my experience to help others experiencing infant loss-or any loss. Some things are the same no matter the age of the deceased. Even if it is a loss thru miscarriage. I`ve experienced that too.

A loss is a loss.

Thank you to my sister and niece @sherrigd @tarahelise for letting us spend last weekend on your porch crying, laughing, and drinking wine and margaritas. I love you guys more than you know and I really needed that.

#infantloss #trisomy18 #stlouischildrenshospital #grief

Jun 16

Open

She died 4 days after she was born. We buried her 4 days after she died.

Born 6-9-1992

Died 6-12-1992

Buried 6-16-1992

That would be 31 years ago today.

Last year, on the 30th anniversary of her birth we re-buried her on the grounds of St. Emma Monastery Greensburg, PA where her paternal grandparents are buried.

This year, today has been harder than Friday, June 9 the day she was born. Or Monday, June 12 the day she died.

I've cried more today than either of the other days.

I took a walk.

Got a pedicure.

Cried.

And chose a simple dinner of appetizers.

And I give myself permission to do nothing else.

I am thankful for the time we had her. For the experience and the things I learned about myself through the experience.

John and I are very conscious of what we say yes to and what we say no to. All because of Amy's short life.

I've tried to use my experience to help others experiencing infant loss-or any loss. Some things are the same no matter the age of the deceased. Even if it is a loss thru miscarriage. I've experienced that too.

A loss is a loss.

Thank you to my sister and niece @sherrigd @tarahelise for letting us spend last weekend on your porch crying, laughing, and drinking wine and margaritas. I love you guys more than you know and I really needed that.

#infantloss #trisomy18 #stlouischildrenshospital #grief

In what seems like the blink of an eye, it is 31 years later. Not a day goes by that I do not think of her.

My heart still hurts.

I cry at random times.

And I miss her. Still. 31 years later.

I grieve all the things that didn`t happen.

The relationships.

The life events.

Strangely though there are fewer tears today. Sometimes I think my tears are all gone. The well is dry.

Lack of tears does not mean lack of grief. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. So I accept my emotions today-whatever they may be.

If you know someone that has experienced a loss, don`t be afraid to tell them you remember. Let them know you care. Take a meal, send a text, write and snail mail a card. We want to know our loss is not forgotten.

#infantloss #trisomy18 #stlouischildrenshospital #grief

Jun 9

Open

In what seems like the blink of an eye, it is 31 years later. Not a day goes by that I do not think of her.

My heart still hurts.

I cry at random times.

And I miss her. Still. 31 years later.

I grieve all the things that didn't happen.

The relationships.

The life events.

Strangely though there are fewer tears today. Sometimes I think my tears are all gone. The well is dry.

Lack of tears does not mean lack of grief. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. So I accept my emotions today-whatever they may be.

If you know someone that has experienced a loss, don't be afraid to tell them you remember. Let them know you care. Take a meal, send a text, write and snail mail a card. We want to know our loss is not forgotten.

#infantloss #trisomy18 #stlouischildrenshospital #grief

Today is Palm Sunday.

I cried in church. Not because I was thinking about the events leading up to the crucifixion but because there was a little girl of about 5 or so sitting in front of me. She had the most gorgeous dark hair. With streaks of gold running through it. Natural streaks. Not the artificial colored streaks I pay more than I`m willing to share to get every few months.

As I observed her I thought about my own daughter. The one that died at 4 days old.

I thought of how she might be standing next to me this morning or next Sunday on Easter. Maybe she would have travelled to Charlotte to spend some time with her dad and me.

Grief is something that robs us of so much. It robs me of not just my daughter but it robs me of being the mom of a daughter.

I look at some of my closest friends, all mothers of daughters and I envy, yes ENVY!, the relationships they all have with their daughters. They may not agree with them on all things or see eye-to-eye with them but the daughters lead the charge to throw surprise 60th birthday parties for their parents or make sure that mom gets a Mother`s Day card, a birthday card, etc.

I think daughters are different than sons. Daughters are more sensitive than sons based on my observations as an outsider. I do not experience that sensitivity.
And I grieve the fact that I am not the mother of a daughter.

The version of me before Amy`s death is totally different than the me that is here now.

If you want to read more about about my daughter, Amy, you can go to https://marybonner.net/?s=Amy and read more about my journey through infant loss and moving forward.

Adam McHugh`s book Blood From a Stone is a beautiful piece of writing about returning from the dead. I encourage you to check it out. You can find the book on Amazon or wherever books are sold. Find and follow him @adammchughwine You won`t be sorry.

"Grief is so agonizing not only because you have lost something, but you have lost someone, and that someone is the version of you that was alive before your loss."
Blood From a Stone
Adam McHugh
Page 102

Apr 2

Open

Today is Palm Sunday.

I cried in church. Not because I was thinking about the events leading up to the crucifixion but because there was a little girl of about 5 or so sitting in front of me. She had the most gorgeous dark hair. With streaks of gold running through it. Natural streaks. Not the artificial colored streaks I pay more than I'm willing to share to get every few months.

As I observed her I thought about my own daughter. The one that died at 4 days old.

I thought of how she might be standing next to me this morning or next Sunday on Easter. Maybe she would have travelled to Charlotte to spend some time with her dad and me.

Grief is something that robs us of so much. It robs me of not just my daughter but it robs me of being the mom of a daughter.

I look at some of my closest friends, all mothers of daughters and I envy, yes ENVY!, the relationships they all have with their daughters. They may not agree with them on all things or see eye-to-eye with them but the daughters lead the charge to throw surprise 60th birthday parties for their parents or make sure that mom gets a Mother's Day card, a birthday card, etc.

I think daughters are different than sons. Daughters are more sensitive than sons based on my observations as an outsider. I do not experience that sensitivity.
And I grieve the fact that I am not the mother of a daughter.

The version of me before Amy's death is totally different than the me that is here now.

If you want to read more about about my daughter, Amy, you can go to https://marybonner.net/?s=Amy and read more about my journey through infant loss and moving forward.

Adam McHugh's book Blood From a Stone is a beautiful piece of writing about returning from the dead. I encourage you to check it out. You can find the book on Amazon or wherever books are sold. Find and follow him @adammchughwine You won't be sorry.

"Grief is so agonizing not only because you have lost something, but you have lost someone, and that someone is the version of you that was alive before your loss."
Blood From a Stone
Adam McHugh
Page 102

@coach_andy_bonner made me a mom. His wife, Ashley, made me a mother-in-law. Happy Anniversary to them! 6 years and counting. Dad and I love you!

Aug 6

Open

@coach_andy_bonner made me a mom. His wife, Ashley, made me a mother-in-law. Happy Anniversary to them! 6 years and counting. Dad and I love you!

Every June I think I`m going to handle this better. Whatever better looks like - I don`t know. 30 years and I still cry at random times. And every June I fall apart.

She would have been 30 next week. Instead of whisking her off for a 30th birthday trip to Key West like we did for her brother @coach_andy_bonner or Niagara Falls like we did for his wife we will make another kind of trip.

There will be a mass next Saturday and we will stand at a grave site as we move her body from the small town where she was buried to a final resting place by her paternal grandparents on the beautiful grounds of St Emma Monastery in Greensburg, PA.

I look forward to the weekend and I dread it all at the same time.

Today I broke down and sobbed. Just like yesterday. And probably will tomorrow. But I remember that He catches my tears in a bottle Psalm 56:8

If I learned anything from
this life experience, it is this: I can do hard things. But not of my own strength. Philippians 4:13

And live to tell about.

Amy Elizabeth Bonner
Jun 9, 1992 - Jun 12, 1992

#infantloss #psalm56
#trisomy18 #philippians413 #childloss #infantlosssurvivor