The sun is rising on a new day. A brand-new 24 hour window that I can do with whatever I want.
Yesterday was Amy’s birthday.
I think it was the first time I have not posted on her birthday in several years. Then again, I am not posting much at all these days.
But I am working on that.
Yesterday, I started my day by going to mass. The gospel reading was from Matthew 5:13-16 where Jesus talks about being the salt of the earth.
Salt is used to season and preserve. Without salt our food can taste rather bland.
Our life-changing experiences can be likened to salt…they season our life and make it interesting.
Losing Amy was certainly one of the hardest things I have ever experienced. But the experience taught me a lot. Things that I would not have learned without living through the birth and death of a child and then moving on to live life without her.
I believe each of us has a salt experience. At least one experience (probably more than one) that “made us who we are” that was a defining moment in our life. An experience that shaped what we thought.
What we believed.
How we react to situations.
Certainly, Amy’s life and death was such an experience for me. But there have been others too.
For several months, I have been listening to Jacque Watkins’ Mudstories podcasts. In a recent episode she mentioned that almost everyone she talks to says they are grateful for their mudstory. They wouldn’t necessarily want to relive it, but they are thankful for it. They see the value in their life story because of the mud.
Whether I call it the salt of my life or a mud story, the experience shapes and flavors me. The experiences add depth and dimension. They add color and shape to my life.
And I wouldn’t want to trade them for anything.
For some reason, this is the scripture that is speaking to me this morning…
Happy birthday to Amy. I don't think I've posted every year on Kali's birthday either, but usually somewhere around it. I used to write a physical letter to her every year and kept it in a scrapbook. The first year I didn't, I felt guilty. But I know she was okay with me not doing it.
Yes, the birth and death of a child is definitely a salt story in my life too, one that I wouldn't want to live through again, but one that I wouldn't want to live without now. Thanks for sharing, Mary. I always feel a kinship with you here.
What a lovely, brave heart you have, Mary. I am in awe of the strength and sincerity of your faith.
Today was a mudstory of a day, for me. Dying of a pancreatic malignancy isn't fun at the best of times, but today was a new adventure in pain…something unexpected and…
Wait. I was about to say "unwelcome", but the word really doesn't apply. First, pain's not a guest. It's an artifact of a situation.
Second, the more it hurts, the more degrading this process is, the more compassion I feel for those who really have it rough, with things like ALS and throat cancer. I'm still functional, more or less, and should be for awhile yet.
The worse it gets, the more I appreciate the blessings in life; the more I appreciate the God who hates the illnesses and pain that attend the existence of a world that must contain free will, and who is always there to somehow help me look up.
Even when I'm flat to the boards.
http://www.blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com
Mary, I don't quite know what a podcast is, but I do know that you have more grace, strength, and resilience than anyone I've lately seen.
http://www.blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com
Yes these experiences are what season our lives. They are our salt. Salt is healing and sharing our salt stories heals us. Love you Mary. Thank you for sharing.