Hi, I’m Mary and I’m so glad you stopped by.
I enjoy connecting with people and helping them simplify their lives. Whether you’re here to find out about my services or share stories about life, faith and family, I’m grateful you chose to spend some time with me. You can read a little of my story here and connect with me on these social media networks:
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FROM THE BLOG
Things that are Helping Me These Days of COVID19
COVID19 is Changing Times These are different and uncertain times, aren't they? We are navigating new waters as COVID19 races across the world. And it seems that things change on a daily basis. We went from playing the March Madness basketball games with no fans except for family members to no...
In what seemed like the blink of an eye, those young 20 somethings were married for 41 years.
The second photo was taken last year on our 40th anniversary. I didn`t post it because I didn`t like the way my legs looked. Something happened in the last year and I`m reminded that those legs have carried me for 62 years (when the photo was taken). Carried me through 3 pregnancies that gifted me with one living child, @coach_andy_bonner
The last photo was taken on Tuesday as we sat on the beach and a lady walked by and said, "would you like me to take your picture?" We said yes. Time with John is still one of my favorite things. He retired on Friday, before we left on Monday for this trip. There are so many unknowns but so much to be grateful for and so much to look forward to in the next stage.
I`m grateful for my clients that give me something to do every day Monday-Friday. @christiepurifoy @kriscamealy @bekah @whatlolalikes @abby_roadhome & to the wonderful team @parkermanagement-you guys all make my life so fun!
And I`m grateful for time at a place like this. Sand and water...not sure there is anything better!
Happy Anniversary Week to my love that is not on ANY social media channel!
May 9
She died 4 days after she was born. We buried her 4 days after she died.
Born 6-9-1992
Died 6-12-1992
Buried 6-16-1992
That would be 31 years ago today.
Last year, on the 30th anniversary of her birth we re-buried her on the grounds of St. Emma Monastery Greensburg, PA where her paternal grandparents are buried.
This year, today has been harder than Friday, June 9 the day she was born. Or Monday, June 12 the day she died.
I`ve cried more today than either of the other days.
I took a walk.
Got a pedicure.
Cried.
And chose a simple dinner of appetizers.
And I give myself permission to do nothing else.
I am thankful for the time we had her. For the experience and the things I learned about myself through the experience.
John and I are very conscious of what we say yes to and what we say no to. All because of Amy`s short life.
I`ve tried to use my experience to help others experiencing infant loss-or any loss. Some things are the same no matter the age of the deceased. Even if it is a loss thru miscarriage. I`ve experienced that too.
A loss is a loss.
Thank you to my sister and niece @sherrigd @tarahelise for letting us spend last weekend on your porch crying, laughing, and drinking wine and margaritas. I love you guys more than you know and I really needed that.
#infantloss #trisomy18 #stlouischildrenshospital #grief
Jun 16
In what seems like the blink of an eye, it is 31 years later. Not a day goes by that I do not think of her.
My heart still hurts.
I cry at random times.
And I miss her. Still. 31 years later.
I grieve all the things that didn`t happen.
The relationships.
The life events.
Strangely though there are fewer tears today. Sometimes I think my tears are all gone. The well is dry.
Lack of tears does not mean lack of grief. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. So I accept my emotions today-whatever they may be.
If you know someone that has experienced a loss, don`t be afraid to tell them you remember. Let them know you care. Take a meal, send a text, write and snail mail a card. We want to know our loss is not forgotten.
#infantloss #trisomy18 #stlouischildrenshospital #grief
Jun 9
Today is Palm Sunday.
I cried in church. Not because I was thinking about the events leading up to the crucifixion but because there was a little girl of about 5 or so sitting in front of me. She had the most gorgeous dark hair. With streaks of gold running through it. Natural streaks. Not the artificial colored streaks I pay more than I`m willing to share to get every few months.
As I observed her I thought about my own daughter. The one that died at 4 days old.
I thought of how she might be standing next to me this morning or next Sunday on Easter. Maybe she would have travelled to Charlotte to spend some time with her dad and me.
Grief is something that robs us of so much. It robs me of not just my daughter but it robs me of being the mom of a daughter.
I look at some of my closest friends, all mothers of daughters and I envy, yes ENVY!, the relationships they all have with their daughters. They may not agree with them on all things or see eye-to-eye with them but the daughters lead the charge to throw surprise 60th birthday parties for their parents or make sure that mom gets a Mother`s Day card, a birthday card, etc.
I think daughters are different than sons. Daughters are more sensitive than sons based on my observations as an outsider. I do not experience that sensitivity.
And I grieve the fact that I am not the mother of a daughter.
The version of me before Amy`s death is totally different than the me that is here now.
If you want to read more about about my daughter, Amy, you can go to https://marybonner.net/?s=Amy and read more about my journey through infant loss and moving forward.
Adam McHugh`s book Blood From a Stone is a beautiful piece of writing about returning from the dead. I encourage you to check it out. You can find the book on Amazon or wherever books are sold. Find and follow him @adammchughwine You won`t be sorry.
"Grief is so agonizing not only because you have lost something, but you have lost someone, and that someone is the version of you that was alive before your loss."
Blood From a Stone
Adam McHugh
Page 102
Apr 2
@coach_andy_bonner made me a mom. His wife, Ashley, made me a mother-in-law. Happy Anniversary to them! 6 years and counting. Dad and I love you!
Aug 6
Every June I think I`m going to handle this better. Whatever better looks like - I don`t know. 30 years and I still cry at random times. And every June I fall apart.
She would have been 30 next week. Instead of whisking her off for a 30th birthday trip to Key West like we did for her brother @coach_andy_bonner or Niagara Falls like we did for his wife we will make another kind of trip.
There will be a mass next Saturday and we will stand at a grave site as we move her body from the small town where she was buried to a final resting place by her paternal grandparents on the beautiful grounds of St Emma Monastery in Greensburg, PA.
I look forward to the weekend and I dread it all at the same time.
Today I broke down and sobbed. Just like yesterday. And probably will tomorrow. But I remember that He catches my tears in a bottle Psalm 56:8
If I learned anything from
this life experience, it is this: I can do hard things. But not of my own strength. Philippians 4:13
And live to tell about.
Amy Elizabeth Bonner
Jun 9, 1992 - Jun 12, 1992
#infantloss #psalm56
#trisomy18 #philippians413 #childloss #infantlosssurvivor
Jun 3
When I tell people that I am a VA (Virtual Assistant) often they want to know what I DO. And I tell them that I mostly deal with details. Managing the things (details) that creative people do not see themselves as “good at.” Budgets, remembering dates, creating schedules and timelines, gathering data and information, making sure they get paid, etc. A few years ago, I took on my first social media influencer client. And after working for 5 years with only faith-based clients, social media was a different world! I learned how to navigate that world and now my social media clients are among my favorites. In fact, I let go of most of my other clients to allow more time to work with the influencers. One of the faith-based clients I kept is @kriscamealy of @refineretreat
I have known Kris for 10 years and worked with her on Refine for, I don’t know…maybe 6. Kris recognizes the importance of rest and soul-care that enables us to create better and more meaningful content. Allows us to be more present for our families, clients, and our businesses.
Whether we are writing in our journal, painting on a canvas, creating paid content for a social media outlet, sitting at a pottery wheel, whatever the creative outlet we must tend to our souls. We must rest. We must learn to pause.
#Soulcare is not optional in this world in which we live. We must learn to stop so that we are able to go. We can run at a break-neck, full-tilt speed for a while but at some point, we will crash.
If you are looking for a way to slow down and take a weekend to care for yourself and your soul, check out @refineretreat. Maybe Refine isn’t for you. That is ok. But if you think this only applies to faith-based work, check out @lindsaynead ‘s post from April 19. Lindsay is an amazing businesswoman and she recognizes the power of slowing down. Of stopping. Of resting. She took a break and found herself better for it.
Soul care isn’t optional, it is essential.
Apr 29
Leroy left us today. He was diagnosed with Lymphoma 4 weeks ago tomorrow. I miss him so much. Some early photos are in my stories. He was THE BEST DOG! And he had a good life. He was SPOILED rotten. At times I think @coach_andy_bonner thought Leroy was treated better than Andy when he was home.
Feb 16
Today I woke up at 4 AM & got up at 4:30.
We drove to Pittsburgh for a wedding this weekend. But before that we did a thing...we looked at house and wrote an offer. 😳
I don`t know if we will get it or not but what I have learned in 61 years is that I am not in control.
I pray. I try to listen. I contemplate. And I wait.
And in the end He knows the plan for me and for my life. Jeremiah 29:11
I had no idea that my life would look like this and that I would get to work with creatives repped by @parkermanagement! What a gift they have all been!
So grateful the the many blessing I`ve received in my 61 years.
Happy Birthday to me...this is 61.
And I wouldn`t change a thing.
Oct 22
There are a lot of new people following my account in the last week or so thanks to @stephanieweinert mentioning me in her post.
I am humbled that you are here. You will find that I don’t post often so I won’t fill your feed. But when I do post I hope you find it meaningful.
Since you are new here I thought I’d share a bit about myself.
I work as a Virtual Assistant. Most of my clients I have never met in person. I do a variety of things for them. I edit blog posts and create graphics. I do bookkeeping and manage details for some social media influencers and I work closely with @kriscamealy as her assistant for #refineretreat A creative retreat for women held @pinesretreatcenter
I love what I do and I am good at it. I am especially good with details and spreadsheets. 😊 I also love wine, coffee, and chocolate.
I’ve been married for 38 years to my best friend and we have two children in heaven and a son here on earth that is married to a beautiful woman. I am proud of both of them. And I have a small dog named Leroy that keeps me on my toes. Swipe to see him 😊
This quote by John Kavanaugh could be the anthem for my life. From the death of my daughter, serious illness, miscarriage, the death of my parents and in the last six months the deaths of my brother-in-law, my brother, and my father-in-law I have learned that through it all my faith has been my rock.
It has been during the hard times that I have learned the most.
That I have found the biggest source of my strength is my faith.
I have come to embrace that the Lord will never leave me. No matter how far I stray from him.
I hope that you will stick around and we can learn from each other.
I love to know something about you. Please share something about yourself in the comments.
Again, thanks for being here. #fridayintroductions #faith
Apr 28
