5 minute Friday…WONDER

by Mary Bonner | Nov 30, 2012 | Uncategorized | 15 comments

This is the last 5 Minute Friday for 2012. Lisa-Jo is taking the month of December off. If you have never visited Lisa-Jo’s place or participated in 5 minute Friday, please check it out! The rules are simple. Check them out and get the button code here.

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today’s word: WONDER

GO

I wonder if I can really get anything on paper in 5 minutes about WONDER.

This time of year is ALL ABOUT WONDER. How do I choose which part of WONDER to focus on and for just 5minutes?

Then I read a few posts and I realize that the wonder of it all really does come down to only one thing…the birth of Jesus.

The agony of his birth in a stable.

She rode a DONKEY friends…and she was 9 months pregnant.

No sterile birthing room for her.

No, she got a stable,

And I am sure it stunk. And smell like animals. And dung.

Straw…trying resting on straw, I’ve never tried it, but I don’t think it would be comfortable.

And what about Joseph? Have you ever wondered what might have happened if he’d said “No, Lord…I’m not doing that. I’m not marrying a pregnant girl?”

I wonder.

I just wonder.

But then I remember that HE knows all things. HE knew Mary would be uncomfortable.

He knew Joseph would say yes.

He designed it all.

And it was good. And beautiful.

And I wonder…I just wonder…why?

Because I didn’t deserve it.

That is why it is a gift.

And wondering is part of the gift.

STOP

Friend, I am so glad that I don’t have to work for my salvation.

That it is freely given as a gift to me from my Savior.

But a gift is only truly a gift if accepted.

It isn’t enough to have a head knowledge of Jesus, his birth, death and resurrection.

We need a heart knowledge too.

If you don’t have a heart knowledge of Jesus Christ,

consider accepting his gift of wonder today.

We have all sinned. Romans 3:23

The wages of sin is death, but there is a gift! Romans 6:23

Believe in your heart. Romans 10:9

He truly is the only way. John 14:6

God’s Truly Simple Plan of Salvation

15 Comments

Kris on November 30, 2012 at 11:10 am

I love this reminder of the wonder of the gift, Mary. it's the craziest story, isn't it? King of the world born into a mess of manure and straw, a God-man born to die… it's just amazing. May we never lose our wonder over this increadible gift. Bless you, sweet friend. Praying for you!
Reply
- Mary Bonner on November 30, 2012 at 3:37 pm
  
  It is a crazy story, Kris! I'm praying for you too, friend.
  
  Hugs~
  Mary
  Reply
Jen@Living a Listful{l} Life on November 30, 2012 at 11:37 am

This is a great way to look at the season; and it is such a wonder how everything fell wonderfully into place.
Reply
- Mary Bonner on November 30, 2012 at 3:37 pm
  
  A wonderful wonder…yes! it is!!
  Reply
Meredith on November 30, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Oh the donkey… ouch. When just walking is painful enough — a donkey. 🙁
And Mary, her amazing faith — and yes, Joseph- his admirable courage and obedience…

Filled with wonder.
🙂
Reply
- Mary Bonner on November 30, 2012 at 9:04 pm
  
  Me too, Meredith, me too!
  Reply
Nikki @ Simplystriving on November 30, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Oh yes! the gift of wonder…we take it for granted sometimes, don't you think?

My heart has been where you're at, Mary. But you know that…
beautiful write!
Reply
- Mary Bonner on November 30, 2012 at 9:04 pm
  
  I know we have walked similar paths, Nikki. I wish we could have a cup of coffee together in real life sometime…wouldn't that be awesome.
  
  Praying for you my friend.
  Reply
Dolly @Soulstops on November 30, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Wonderful reflection, Mary…I was thinking of Mary this morning on a donkey, and so so pregnant…hard to grasp at how humble she and Joseph were in submitting to God's will, let alone, Jesus, the Son of GOd…yes, it is a WONDER…blessings to you 🙂
Reply
- Mary Bonner on November 30, 2012 at 9:06 pm
  
  Thank you, Dolly. I try, sometimes, to put myself in her shoes…and in Joseph's but I don't think I can really, truly grasp the situation.
  
  A wonder…yes, that is what it is…a wonder!
  Reply
Mia De Vries on November 30, 2012 at 8:34 pm

Hi Mary
I often wonder myself about the wonder of His love. Perhaps the stable shows us how dirty our hearts are, when He plants the tiny seed of His life in our hearts when we are born anew.
Thank you and blessings
Mia
Reply
- Mary Bonner on November 30, 2012 at 9:07 pm
  
  You might be onto sometime with that analogy, Mia!! Thanks!
  Reply
Leslie Frances on November 30, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Amen! 🙂
Reply
Stefanie Brown on December 1, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Oh, Mary, this 5 minutes is stunning! What a beautiful picture of the "wonder" of the entire plan of salvation. Love it!!!
Reply
Positively Alene on December 2, 2012 at 2:59 am

Oh my — yes there is so much I wonder about Mary! How in the world did she mother the King of Kings? I am in wonder of the free gift He gives. Beautiful.
Reply

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In what seemed like the blink of an eye, those young 20 somethings were married for 41 years.

The second photo was taken last year on our 40th anniversary. I didn`t post it because I didn`t like the way my legs looked. Something happened in the last year and I`m reminded that those legs have carried me for 62 years (when the photo was taken). Carried me through 3 pregnancies that gifted me with one living child, @coach_andy_bonner

The last photo was taken on Tuesday as we sat on the beach and a lady walked by and said, "would you like me to take your picture?" We said yes. Time with John is still one of my favorite things. He retired on Friday, before we left on Monday for this trip. There are so many unknowns but so much to be grateful for and so much to look forward to in the next stage.

I`m grateful for my clients that give me something to do every day Monday-Friday. @christiepurifoy @kriscamealy @bekah @whatlolalikes @abby_roadhome & to the wonderful team @parkermanagement-you guys all make my life so fun!

And I`m grateful for time at a place like this. Sand and water...not sure there is anything better!

Happy Anniversary Week to my love that is not on ANY social media channel!

May 9

Open

In what seemed like the blink of an eye, those young 20 somethings were married for 41 years.

The second photo was taken last year on our 40th anniversary. I didn't post it because I didn't like the way my legs looked. Something happened in the last year and I'm reminded that those legs have carried me for 62 years (when the photo was taken). Carried me through 3 pregnancies that gifted me with one living child, @coach_andy_bonner

The last photo was taken on Tuesday as we sat on the beach and a lady walked by and said, "would you like me to take your picture?" We said yes. Time with John is still one of my favorite things. He retired on Friday, before we left on Monday for this trip. There are so many unknowns but so much to be grateful for and so much to look forward to in the next stage.

I'm grateful for my clients that give me something to do every day Monday-Friday. @christiepurifoy @kriscamealy @bekah @whatlolalikes @abby_roadhome & to the wonderful team @parkermanagement-you guys all make my life so fun!

And I'm grateful for time at a place like this. Sand and water...not sure there is anything better!

Happy Anniversary Week to my love that is not on ANY social media channel!

She died 4 days after she was born. We buried her 4 days after she died.

Born 6-9-1992

Died 6-12-1992

Buried 6-16-1992

That would be 31 years ago today.

Last year, on the 30th anniversary of her birth we re-buried her on the grounds of St. Emma Monastery Greensburg, PA where her paternal grandparents are buried.

This year, today has been harder than Friday, June 9 the day she was born. Or Monday, June 12 the day she died.

I`ve cried more today than either of the other days.

I took a walk.

Got a pedicure.

Cried.

And chose a simple dinner of appetizers.

And I give myself permission to do nothing else.

I am thankful for the time we had her. For the experience and the things I learned about myself through the experience.

John and I are very conscious of what we say yes to and what we say no to. All because of Amy`s short life.

I`ve tried to use my experience to help others experiencing infant loss-or any loss. Some things are the same no matter the age of the deceased. Even if it is a loss thru miscarriage. I`ve experienced that too.

A loss is a loss.

Thank you to my sister and niece @sherrigd @tarahelise for letting us spend last weekend on your porch crying, laughing, and drinking wine and margaritas. I love you guys more than you know and I really needed that.

#infantloss #trisomy18 #stlouischildrenshospital #grief

Jun 16

Open

She died 4 days after she was born. We buried her 4 days after she died.

Born 6-9-1992

Died 6-12-1992

Buried 6-16-1992

That would be 31 years ago today.

Last year, on the 30th anniversary of her birth we re-buried her on the grounds of St. Emma Monastery Greensburg, PA where her paternal grandparents are buried.

This year, today has been harder than Friday, June 9 the day she was born. Or Monday, June 12 the day she died.

I've cried more today than either of the other days.

I took a walk.

Got a pedicure.

Cried.

And chose a simple dinner of appetizers.

And I give myself permission to do nothing else.

I am thankful for the time we had her. For the experience and the things I learned about myself through the experience.

John and I are very conscious of what we say yes to and what we say no to. All because of Amy's short life.

I've tried to use my experience to help others experiencing infant loss-or any loss. Some things are the same no matter the age of the deceased. Even if it is a loss thru miscarriage. I've experienced that too.

A loss is a loss.

Thank you to my sister and niece @sherrigd @tarahelise for letting us spend last weekend on your porch crying, laughing, and drinking wine and margaritas. I love you guys more than you know and I really needed that.

#infantloss #trisomy18 #stlouischildrenshospital #grief

In what seems like the blink of an eye, it is 31 years later. Not a day goes by that I do not think of her.

My heart still hurts.

I cry at random times.

And I miss her. Still. 31 years later.

I grieve all the things that didn`t happen.

The relationships.

The life events.

Strangely though there are fewer tears today. Sometimes I think my tears are all gone. The well is dry.

Lack of tears does not mean lack of grief. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. So I accept my emotions today-whatever they may be.

If you know someone that has experienced a loss, don`t be afraid to tell them you remember. Let them know you care. Take a meal, send a text, write and snail mail a card. We want to know our loss is not forgotten.

#infantloss #trisomy18 #stlouischildrenshospital #grief

Jun 9

Open

In what seems like the blink of an eye, it is 31 years later. Not a day goes by that I do not think of her.

My heart still hurts.

I cry at random times.

And I miss her. Still. 31 years later.

I grieve all the things that didn't happen.

The relationships.

The life events.

Strangely though there are fewer tears today. Sometimes I think my tears are all gone. The well is dry.

Lack of tears does not mean lack of grief. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. So I accept my emotions today-whatever they may be.

If you know someone that has experienced a loss, don't be afraid to tell them you remember. Let them know you care. Take a meal, send a text, write and snail mail a card. We want to know our loss is not forgotten.

#infantloss #trisomy18 #stlouischildrenshospital #grief

Today is Palm Sunday.

I cried in church. Not because I was thinking about the events leading up to the crucifixion but because there was a little girl of about 5 or so sitting in front of me. She had the most gorgeous dark hair. With streaks of gold running through it. Natural streaks. Not the artificial colored streaks I pay more than I`m willing to share to get every few months.

As I observed her I thought about my own daughter. The one that died at 4 days old.

I thought of how she might be standing next to me this morning or next Sunday on Easter. Maybe she would have travelled to Charlotte to spend some time with her dad and me.

Grief is something that robs us of so much. It robs me of not just my daughter but it robs me of being the mom of a daughter.

I look at some of my closest friends, all mothers of daughters and I envy, yes ENVY!, the relationships they all have with their daughters. They may not agree with them on all things or see eye-to-eye with them but the daughters lead the charge to throw surprise 60th birthday parties for their parents or make sure that mom gets a Mother`s Day card, a birthday card, etc.

I think daughters are different than sons. Daughters are more sensitive than sons based on my observations as an outsider. I do not experience that sensitivity.
And I grieve the fact that I am not the mother of a daughter.

The version of me before Amy`s death is totally different than the me that is here now.

If you want to read more about about my daughter, Amy, you can go to https://marybonner.net/?s=Amy and read more about my journey through infant loss and moving forward.

Adam McHugh`s book Blood From a Stone is a beautiful piece of writing about returning from the dead. I encourage you to check it out. You can find the book on Amazon or wherever books are sold. Find and follow him @adammchughwine You won`t be sorry.

"Grief is so agonizing not only because you have lost something, but you have lost someone, and that someone is the version of you that was alive before your loss."
Blood From a Stone
Adam McHugh
Page 102

Apr 2

Open

Today is Palm Sunday.

I cried in church. Not because I was thinking about the events leading up to the crucifixion but because there was a little girl of about 5 or so sitting in front of me. She had the most gorgeous dark hair. With streaks of gold running through it. Natural streaks. Not the artificial colored streaks I pay more than I'm willing to share to get every few months.

As I observed her I thought about my own daughter. The one that died at 4 days old.

I thought of how she might be standing next to me this morning or next Sunday on Easter. Maybe she would have travelled to Charlotte to spend some time with her dad and me.

Grief is something that robs us of so much. It robs me of not just my daughter but it robs me of being the mom of a daughter.

I look at some of my closest friends, all mothers of daughters and I envy, yes ENVY!, the relationships they all have with their daughters. They may not agree with them on all things or see eye-to-eye with them but the daughters lead the charge to throw surprise 60th birthday parties for their parents or make sure that mom gets a Mother's Day card, a birthday card, etc.

I think daughters are different than sons. Daughters are more sensitive than sons based on my observations as an outsider. I do not experience that sensitivity.
And I grieve the fact that I am not the mother of a daughter.

The version of me before Amy's death is totally different than the me that is here now.

If you want to read more about about my daughter, Amy, you can go to https://marybonner.net/?s=Amy and read more about my journey through infant loss and moving forward.

Adam McHugh's book Blood From a Stone is a beautiful piece of writing about returning from the dead. I encourage you to check it out. You can find the book on Amazon or wherever books are sold. Find and follow him @adammchughwine You won't be sorry.

"Grief is so agonizing not only because you have lost something, but you have lost someone, and that someone is the version of you that was alive before your loss."
Blood From a Stone
Adam McHugh
Page 102

@coach_andy_bonner made me a mom. His wife, Ashley, made me a mother-in-law. Happy Anniversary to them! 6 years and counting. Dad and I love you!

Aug 6

Open

@coach_andy_bonner made me a mom. His wife, Ashley, made me a mother-in-law. Happy Anniversary to them! 6 years and counting. Dad and I love you!

Every June I think I`m going to handle this better. Whatever better looks like - I don`t know. 30 years and I still cry at random times. And every June I fall apart.

She would have been 30 next week. Instead of whisking her off for a 30th birthday trip to Key West like we did for her brother @coach_andy_bonner or Niagara Falls like we did for his wife we will make another kind of trip.

There will be a mass next Saturday and we will stand at a grave site as we move her body from the small town where she was buried to a final resting place by her paternal grandparents on the beautiful grounds of St Emma Monastery in Greensburg, PA.

I look forward to the weekend and I dread it all at the same time.

Today I broke down and sobbed. Just like yesterday. And probably will tomorrow. But I remember that He catches my tears in a bottle Psalm 56:8

If I learned anything from
this life experience, it is this: I can do hard things. But not of my own strength. Philippians 4:13

And live to tell about.

Amy Elizabeth Bonner
Jun 9, 1992 - Jun 12, 1992

#infantloss #psalm56
#trisomy18 #philippians413 #childloss #infantlosssurvivor