I promised myself that I would write today. I am not sure what has happened in recent weeks but words haven’t been there. And I believe I have to write even when I feel there are no words because if I don’t, then I might stop altogether.
And I don’t want that.
I feel I am called to write, but sometimes I wonder…am I REALLY called?
Sometimes words flow.
Easily.
And other times it is like a rusty nut stuck on a bolt. You know wrenches, WD-40 and brute strength to release it.
That is how the words are sometimes. That is how it has been the past two weeks.
But I DO feel called. I believe that if my words only help to clear my head and my heart, then I should write. But, truly, deep down in my gut I believe that my words reach some soul out there in the world. So…I trudge along…
I think the problem partly stems from my preoccupation with a problem at work. I have a pretty stress free life – yes, I know I am blessed in that area.
VERY BLESSED.
But a problem has arisen at work that is causing me great angst. I looked that up to make sure that I used it properly! *grin*
On Wednesday, I decided to try and clear the air because I no longer wanted to continue having the issue dominate my life.
My attempt at clearing the air didn’t go so well.
Yesterday, after a conversation with my wise husband, I have started to pray about the situation in a different way. My work day yesterday was better…so we will see if things continue to improve.
So I write. Even though I feel I have nothing to say I write.
I write words that don’t seem to make sense, that may not matter to anyone but me.
But I write.
Sometimes life is like that.
I have to keep plodding along because I know it is the right thing to do.
I have to keep putting one foot in front of the other because it is the right thing to do.
I have to.
I just HAVE to.
Because deep down in my heart…I know it is the right thing to do.
And sometimes doing the right thing, isn’t the easy thing.
Have a good weekend….
I always told my students during a creative writing session–just put pen to paper and write anything, literally anything–
I told them to write
"I don't have a thing to say — I am just putting this pencil to my paper and praying that something will come"
You know, you can always go back and erase if you need to and eventually for almost all of my students, they wrote writings that blew me away.
Trust the process, Mary. God has called you to write.
Love you.
I often find myself in that spot. Right now, I just don't have time. Why is it that when I have the motto say, I have the least amount of time? Ha!