I promised myself that I would write today. I am not sure what has happened in recent weeks but words haven’t been there. And I believe I have to write even when I feel there are no words because if I don’t, then I might stop altogether.
And I don’t want that.
I feel I am called to write, but sometimes I wonder…am I REALLY called?
Sometimes words flow.
And other times it is like a rusty nut stuck on a bolt. You know wrenches, WD-40 and brute strength to release it.
That is how the words are sometimes. That is how it has been the past two weeks.
But I DO feel called. I believe that if my words only help to clear my head and my heart, then I should write. But, truly, deep down in my gut I believe that my words reach some soul out there in the world. So…I trudge along…
I think the problem partly stems from my preoccupation with a problem at work. I have a pretty stress free life – yes, I know I am blessed in that area.
But a problem has arisen at work that is causing me great angst. I looked that up to make sure that I used it properly! *grin*
On Wednesday, I decided to try and clear the air because I no longer wanted to continue having the issue dominate my life.
My attempt at clearing the air didn’t go so well.
Yesterday, after a conversation with my wise husband, I have started to pray about the situation in a different way. My work day yesterday was better…so we will see if things continue to improve.
So I write. Even though I feel I have nothing to say I write.
I write words that don’t seem to make sense, that may not matter to anyone but me.
But I write.
Sometimes life is like that.
I have to keep plodding along because I know it is the right thing to do.
I have to keep putting one foot in front of the other because it is the right thing to do.
I have to.
I just HAVE to.
Because deep down in my heart…I know it is the right thing to do.
And sometimes doing the right thing, isn’t the easy thing.