Today’s word for 5 minute Friday is AFTER. After she died my life was never the same. But not all in bad ways. I treasure time with friends and family more than I did before. I treasure moments instead of – no, because of – her short life.
I don’t just look for the BIG moments in life. I try to LIVE life and be thankful for all moments and ALL things. No matter how difficult or unpleasant.
Motherless daughters, a concept I do not understand, cannot appreciate. My mom is still alive and 90 years old. So I cannot speak to that experience. I don’t know what to say. I can only listen and hug those without their mothers.
But daughterless Mothers? I GET that. I TOTALLY get that. I can say what is on my heart and mind because THEY get it. I am sure it works that way with Mothers that have lost sons too. In fact, I think it works that way with those that have lost children. Period.
We are a member of a club we never asked to join. But we are members and we learn to live with it.
So the time after she died changed me. Made me who I am. She is part of my story.
And I will live my story to the best of my ability. Because HE wrote it. And he doesn’t write anything that isn’t worth reading…and living.
Joining Lisa-Jo and others for 5 minute Friday. Read more stories on AFTER here.
Thank you for you refreshing honesty today! I am a motherless daughter but not a sonless mother. So no, I CANNOT imagine the pain you've endured…the thought of losing my sons terrifies me, but you give me hope that God cares for us and takes care of us in any loss. Keep telling your beautiful story Mary!! 🙂
Dear Mary I think this is the worst thing that can happen to any parent, loosing a child! Any child creates a new world in your heart that lives on even when they pass away! And I am glad that you still visit that place for she will forever be part of you and living in that special place. Blessings
Mary, I was in the middle of a comment and lost it. I won't try to recapture what I wanted to say but suffice it to say that my heart bleeds for your loss.
Thank you Mary for sharing this deeply intimate post. I am so blessed to have read it. I know of a mom who is losing a daughter today and these words of this being a part of your story help me as I support her and might someday help her as well. Thank you.
Mary, I am sorry for the pain you endured when you became a daughterless mother. I can't imagine the grief. What a testimony to God's grace and love that you can share now all these years later.
Oh Mary, that has to be a tough burden now and then – or always somehow present. I have been reading posts and enjoying conclusions and yours is awesome . . . "And I will live my story to the best of my ability. Because HE wrote it. And he doesn't write anything that isn't worth reading…and living." Little words of faith with huge impact because you have been there, done that. We are His witnesses. (Isaiah 46:10 I think). Thanks, Jenn
"And he doesn't write anything that isn't worth reading…and living." Amen, to that! Thank you for sharing so vulnerably today. Your words have encouraged many today.
Oh Mary…what words? I'm so sorry…for the pain and the loss and the agony, the memory, and the remembering, but what beauty there is in the healing journey you've taken with Him. I'm giving thanks for your heart and for Him, how He's weaved it into the most beautiful thread in you, and thanks for how you've let Him, how you've surrendered to Him. And for the beauty in how He's using you in ways that would have never been possible without this pain…please know how very much you are loved. What a gift to call you friend. xoxo
As the weeks have drug on it has been easy for me to lose hope.
Will things ever get back to some type of normal? People were not created to live in isolation.
Will we be able to see someone smile or will we always look at them and only see their eyes?
Will people gather without having to sit 6’ apart?
I don’t know the answer and I’m not posting this to debate the news media’s portrayal of the pandemic.
I’m sharing this today because I spent some time with the Lord thanking him for the things I DO have and not focusing on the things I don’t have. The things I have lost since March.
I looked up scriptures about hope.
I made a list in my prayer journal of things I’m grateful for.
Life goes on. Life crisis continues even during this pandemic. People die naturall and tragically. And babies are born. And weddings happen and new lives begin.
This crisis in our world isn’t a surprise to God.
And my hope and security is in Him.
If you scroll through the photos, you see things that made me smile this morning and reminded me of the goodness of God - even now.
With all the grief and sadness in the world I wasn’t sure how I would handle today. How I would allow myself to grieve this loss? Today when there has so much WRONG in our world. In a post @deidrariggs shared today she reminded us that life goes on. And I realized that today this is my life. And I can grieve this loss. My life goes on... I am thankful for the 4 days we had her. On Friday I will remember each event of her last day and I will remember her dying in my arms.
And I will be both sad and grateful. #infantloss #trisomy18 #stlouischildrenshospital
Beautiful post, Mary. I nearly joined your numbers two years ago but was spared. My heart goes out to you.
Sarah
Thank you Sarah…I am glad you were spared this heartache. But we all have our cross to bear, no?
Thank you for you refreshing honesty today! I am a motherless daughter but not a sonless mother. So no, I CANNOT imagine the pain you've endured…the thought of losing my sons terrifies me, but you give me hope that God cares for us and takes care of us in any loss. Keep telling your beautiful story Mary!! 🙂
Thank you for you encouraging words, Dionne.
Oh friend. Beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing your heart. Blessings.
thank you, Wendy!
Dear Mary
I think this is the worst thing that can happen to any parent, loosing a child! Any child creates a new world in your heart that lives on even when they pass away! And I am glad that you still visit that place for she will forever be part of you and living in that special place.
Blessings
Yes, Mia, it is a terrible thing, but it is part of his plan and after 21 years….I can accept that. Thank you for your kind words my friend.
Mary,
I was in the middle of a comment and lost it. I won't try to recapture what I wanted to say but suffice it to say that my heart bleeds for your loss.
You have been an inspiration to me.
love you
Oh, Dianne…you are always so encouraging to me. thank you! Love you girl!!
Thank you Mary for sharing this deeply intimate post. I am so blessed to have read it. I know of a mom who is losing a daughter today and these words of this being a part of your story help me as I support her and might someday help her as well. Thank you.
Oh, Debbie…I am praying for you and your friend right now…
Mary,
I am sorry for the pain you endured when you became a daughterless mother. I can't imagine the grief. What a testimony to God's grace and love that you can share now all these years later.
Oh Mary, that has to be a tough burden now and then – or always somehow present. I have been reading posts and enjoying conclusions and yours is awesome . . . "And I will live my story to the best of my ability. Because HE wrote it. And he doesn't write anything that isn't worth reading…and living." Little words of faith with huge impact because you have been there, done that. We are His witnesses. (Isaiah 46:10 I think). Thanks, Jenn
"And he doesn't write anything that isn't worth reading…and living." Amen, to that! Thank you for sharing so vulnerably today. Your words have encouraged many today.
Christy @ A Heartening Life
http://www.ahearteninglife.com
That is so touching, and so real and precious. I am sorry for your loss.
Oh Mary…what words? I'm so sorry…for the pain and the loss and the agony, the memory, and the remembering, but what beauty there is in the healing journey you've taken with Him. I'm giving thanks for your heart and for Him, how He's weaved it into the most beautiful thread in you, and thanks for how you've let Him, how you've surrendered to Him. And for the beauty in how He's using you in ways that would have never been possible without this pain…please know how very much you are loved. What a gift to call you friend. xoxo
I am so sorry for your loss. I've never had my heart broken in such a way. May God give you extra tight hugs tonight my friend.
So sorry for your loss. Thank you for so sharing your heart so honestly.