Obviously, based on our dress…this was a long time ago! In fact, it was 30 years ago on Captiva Island, Florida…we were on our honeymoon. Did I really DRESS like that?
He was Catholic. I was not.
He was a college graduate. I was not.
He had never been married. I had.
He was God’s gift to me when I thought my life was almost over.
Thirty years is a long time…both sets of our parent’s have been married for more than 60 years, so we have two sets of good examples.
Behind the scenes of our thirty years you would see a less than perfect marriage…but a good one.
You would see a period of hard work without a pay check.
You would see a fire in the garage attached to our house. It consumed our cars, but not our house.
You would see me being pregnant three times. But you would only see one living child now.
You would see me at the hospital crying over a miscarriage.
You would see me at a grave, crying over the death of Amy.
But you would also see great memories of fun times. Vacations in Yellowstone, Great Smoky Mountain National Park, the southern Outer Banks of North Carolina and Disney World.
You would see meals eaten on the screened porch while watching the birds at the feeder.
You would Sunday mornings getting ready for church.
You would see us at dinner in the restaurant when he told the me plant was closing.
You would see us exploring new opportunities and moving across the country 6 years ago.
You would see us find a new church home and new friends. Going to new places and seeing new things.
And most of all you would see the love that I share with my best friend. The man who completes me. The man that God sent to me to be my husband.
Beautiful! And congrats…what an awesome milestone to reach! Thank you for sharing the blessings and heartaches of those years with us. Happy Tuesday to you, sweet friend. 🙂
I love the before and after photos! And what a sweet gift to know that God carried you through the sweet times of rest and the hard days. Thanks for a glimpse into the little nuggets that created who you are today!
What a beautiful memroy of 30 years of marriage. My Hubby and I have been married 25 1/2 and if you saw behind our scenes you would not see prefection either. In a way I am thankful for the hard times because it is there we learned to stay.
What a lovely story of your 30 years together and a testament to your commitment to each other! Your story sounds a lot like mine, although I've only been married 16 years this time around. Great post!
wow that is awesome, 30 years is a lot to be thankful for and a wonderful accomplishment especially with some hard 'stuff' in the years together. Congratulations.
Thirty years is a long time and still you are happy, and best friends. God is good to bring the right person to complete your life. I am only into nearly sixteen years and it seems it has been only a short time. There is so much to learn about another person.
Thirty years is a long time to be with another person. Love and patience are the key to keep the marriage fresh and full of fun and adventure. I have nearly sixteen years of marriage and it has been full of surprises and lessons of how to be an encouragement and support for my wonderful husband.
Oh my word! First of all, you look adorable in both pics 🙂 Secondly, this is just so beautiful! We've only been married 9 years, and you make marriage sound stronger and stronger with each passing year!
In what seemed like the blink of an eye, those young 20 somethings were married for 41 years.
The second photo was taken last year on our 40th anniversary. I didn`t post it because I didn`t like the way my legs looked. Something happened in the last year and I`m reminded that those legs have carried me for 62 years (when the photo was taken). Carried me through 3 pregnancies that gifted me with one living child, @coach_andy_bonner
The last photo was taken on Tuesday as we sat on the beach and a lady walked by and said, "would you like me to take your picture?" We said yes. Time with John is still one of my favorite things. He retired on Friday, before we left on Monday for this trip. There are so many unknowns but so much to be grateful for and so much to look forward to in the next stage.
I`m grateful for my clients that give me something to do every day Monday-Friday. @christiepurifoy @kriscamealy @bekah @whatlolalikes @abby_roadhome & to the wonderful team @parkermanagement-you guys all make my life so fun!
And I`m grateful for time at a place like this. Sand and water...not sure there is anything better!
Happy Anniversary Week to my love that is not on ANY social media channel!
She died 4 days after she was born. We buried her 4 days after she died.
Born 6-9-1992
Died 6-12-1992
Buried 6-16-1992
That would be 31 years ago today.
Last year, on the 30th anniversary of her birth we re-buried her on the grounds of St. Emma Monastery Greensburg, PA where her paternal grandparents are buried.
This year, today has been harder than Friday, June 9 the day she was born. Or Monday, June 12 the day she died.
I`ve cried more today than either of the other days.
I took a walk.
Got a pedicure.
Cried.
And chose a simple dinner of appetizers.
And I give myself permission to do nothing else.
I am thankful for the time we had her. For the experience and the things I learned about myself through the experience.
John and I are very conscious of what we say yes to and what we say no to. All because of Amy`s short life.
I`ve tried to use my experience to help others experiencing infant loss-or any loss. Some things are the same no matter the age of the deceased. Even if it is a loss thru miscarriage. I`ve experienced that too.
A loss is a loss.
Thank you to my sister and niece @sherrigd @tarahelise for letting us spend last weekend on your porch crying, laughing, and drinking wine and margaritas. I love you guys more than you know and I really needed that.
In what seems like the blink of an eye, it is 31 years later. Not a day goes by that I do not think of her.
My heart still hurts.
I cry at random times.
And I miss her. Still. 31 years later.
I grieve all the things that didn`t happen.
The relationships.
The life events.
Strangely though there are fewer tears today. Sometimes I think my tears are all gone. The well is dry.
Lack of tears does not mean lack of grief. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. So I accept my emotions today-whatever they may be.
If you know someone that has experienced a loss, don`t be afraid to tell them you remember. Let them know you care. Take a meal, send a text, write and snail mail a card. We want to know our loss is not forgotten.
I cried in church. Not because I was thinking about the events leading up to the crucifixion but because there was a little girl of about 5 or so sitting in front of me. She had the most gorgeous dark hair. With streaks of gold running through it. Natural streaks. Not the artificial colored streaks I pay more than I`m willing to share to get every few months.
As I observed her I thought about my own daughter. The one that died at 4 days old.
I thought of how she might be standing next to me this morning or next Sunday on Easter. Maybe she would have travelled to Charlotte to spend some time with her dad and me.
Grief is something that robs us of so much. It robs me of not just my daughter but it robs me of being the mom of a daughter.
I look at some of my closest friends, all mothers of daughters and I envy, yes ENVY!, the relationships they all have with their daughters. They may not agree with them on all things or see eye-to-eye with them but the daughters lead the charge to throw surprise 60th birthday parties for their parents or make sure that mom gets a Mother`s Day card, a birthday card, etc.
I think daughters are different than sons. Daughters are more sensitive than sons based on my observations as an outsider. I do not experience that sensitivity. And I grieve the fact that I am not the mother of a daughter.
The version of me before Amy`s death is totally different than the me that is here now.
If you want to read more about about my daughter, Amy, you can go to https://marybonner.net/?s=Amy and read more about my journey through infant loss and moving forward.
Adam McHugh`s book Blood From a Stone is a beautiful piece of writing about returning from the dead. I encourage you to check it out. You can find the book on Amazon or wherever books are sold. Find and follow him @adammchughwine You won`t be sorry.
"Grief is so agonizing not only because you have lost something, but you have lost someone, and that someone is the version of you that was alive before your loss." Blood From a Stone Adam McHugh Page 102
Every June I think I`m going to handle this better. Whatever better looks like - I don`t know. 30 years and I still cry at random times. And every June I fall apart.
She would have been 30 next week. Instead of whisking her off for a 30th birthday trip to Key West like we did for her brother @coach_andy_bonner or Niagara Falls like we did for his wife we will make another kind of trip.
There will be a mass next Saturday and we will stand at a grave site as we move her body from the small town where she was buried to a final resting place by her paternal grandparents on the beautiful grounds of St Emma Monastery in Greensburg, PA.
I look forward to the weekend and I dread it all at the same time.
Today I broke down and sobbed. Just like yesterday. And probably will tomorrow. But I remember that He catches my tears in a bottle Psalm 56:8
If I learned anything from this life experience, it is this: I can do hard things. But not of my own strength. Philippians 4:13
Beautiful! And congrats…what an awesome milestone to reach! Thank you for sharing the blessings and heartaches of those years with us. Happy Tuesday to you, sweet friend. 🙂
I love the before and after photos! And what a sweet gift to know that God carried you through the sweet times of rest and the hard days. Thanks for a glimpse into the little nuggets that created who you are today!
Blessings!
What a beautiful memroy of 30 years of marriage. My Hubby and I have been married 25 1/2 and if you saw behind our scenes you would not see prefection either. In a way I am thankful for the hard times because it is there we learned to stay.
What a lovely story of your 30 years together and a testament to your commitment to each other! Your story sounds a lot like mine, although I've only been married 16 years this time around. Great post!
I love hearing tidbits of life; the stuff that makes us who we are. So glad your journey is with such a great man.
wow that is awesome, 30 years is a lot to be thankful for and a wonderful accomplishment especially with some hard 'stuff' in the years together. Congratulations.
Thirty years is a long time and still you are happy, and best friends. God is good to bring the right person to complete your life. I am only into nearly sixteen years and it seems it has been only a short time. There is so much to learn about another person.
Thirty years is a long time to be with another person. Love and patience are the key to keep the marriage fresh and full of fun and adventure. I have nearly sixteen years of marriage and it has been full of surprises and lessons of how to be an encouragement and support for my wonderful husband.
Congrats on 30 years. Sweet and honest post.
Fondly,
Glenda
Oh my word! First of all, you look adorable in both pics 🙂 Secondly, this is just so beautiful! We've only been married 9 years, and you make marriage sound stronger and stronger with each passing year!