I took the photo.
Artwork by Annie Barnett
A brief explanation of where I’ve been the past few weeks: my dad died in March and I have not had much to share on this blog. Thank you for your understanding. Then, as I began to feel I had something to share, it was the end of the school semester and we have one laptop in my house. My son, a senior in college (graduates in December), uses the laptop for school work. He had it almost exclusively for more than a week while finishing papers, projects, etc. Then, just as he finished his work the computer got a nasty Trojan virus and was not working. At all. I had it repaired last week and I am hoping to get back to writing.
Today I return in my mind to Refine Retreat. A retreat I attended in April at a state park in Ohio. I’ve written about the experience before.
But I am there again. Thinking about the retreat. Thinking about the broken places in my life. And about their beauty. There is some beauty in the broken.
And there is blessing too.
For it is the broken that has shaped my life and made me who I am.
It is the broken that has given me grace and strength to continue living.
It is the broken that has brought me to a place of satisfaction.
A place of realization.
A place of acceptance.
Satisfied with what I have…not always wanting more.
Realizing that the time is now…not wishing or waiting until tomorrow.
Acceptance that my life experiences were designed by Him, just for me. To shape me and mold me.
Yesterday was Mother’s Day. When I awoke, I made up my mind to focus on what I have, not what is missing.
I focused on the blessings I have, not those I sometimes long for or the children that are no longer here.
And I was content.
It was a good day.
I prayed for the missing girls and their mothers.
Today, I am thankful that Kris hosted Refine. For it was at Refine where I began to appreciate the beauty of rest, in a different way. Teri Lynne spoke on rest at Refine and I think, in the coming days I am going to be able to share some of what I took away from her talk.
As I think about the brokenness in my life, I believe we all have brokenness in our lives. How we choose to react to the brokenness will determine the path of our life. I love the song by Ellie Holcomb. The Broken Beautiful…our brokenness is beautiful when given to Him.
I am trying…trying to give all my brokenness to Him. Rather than try to repair it and make it pretty before approaching Him with it. You see, He wants me to come as I am. Now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Not next month. Not after we have it all together.
That is the beauty of a relationship with Him…we don’t have to have it all together.
He takes us…just as we are.
If you would like to read more about Amy, my daughter that died 22 years ago this June, type Amy in the search box located on the sidebar.
Do you have a tendency to try and fix things before taking them to Him?
Mary –
I'm really excited to follow you on Inspire Me Monday to get to know you a bit. Thank you for sharing this piece of your heart with us. I'm taking a moment now to pray for you as a sister in Christ standing with you to say "Hear we are Lord, with broken pieces to be put into your hands. Remake us into even more beautiful as your glory shines through!"
My recent posts were also about brokenness as the Father has, and continues, to walk me through many different things.
Blessings to you Mary!
Thank you for stopping by, Jolene. I look forward to reading your posts on brokenness.
Hi, I am lining up from Kelli at unforced rhythm. I really love your post. considering that I am going through some challenges now, that is making me more broken that ever. Thanks for the inspiration and encouragement. Rather than trying to repair my brokenness, I will trust all to God.
The brokenness really does shape us. I'll be praying for you Grace…that you receive and feel His grace during this difficult time.
Hi Mary! I am coming over from Unforced Rhythm.
It is such a grace to love your brokenness. We are all broken in places, and I read once that gives the Spirit a place to shine through. More broken? More light. I find that so comforting.
I pray that you will experience healing and a realization of the new paths the Lord calls you to walk.
Blessings!
Ceil
Thank you, Ceil. Learning to love our brokenness is a journey…at least for me.
It is so hard not to try to do the fixing myself. When he takes me to that place of brokenness where I know there is nothing I can do … this is where my faith is deepened. Love to you, Mary. You describe the broken beautiful perfectly.
Yes, Laura, my faith is also deepened in those times.
Hi Mary! I am popping in from Inspire Me Monday and loved reading your blog post! This: "how we choose to react to the brokenness will determine the path of our life." I have found this to be one of my dearest fought lessons in life. Your blog post is beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing your heart so openly and sweetly. It was so encouraging to read your words. xo
Thank you, Sarah. Thank you for stopping by.
There is nothing so freeing, I believe, as understanding that God wants us to come to Him as we ARE, not as we "should be". It took me years to get this, and somedays? I still need reminding.
Thank you for this tribute to the broken places, Mary. Kris is a friend of mine and it's such a joy to see how the retreat she led encouraged you so much.
Glad to see you at Unforced Rhythms.
Praise God that He uses absolutely everything, even our broken places. Thank you for sharing your broken places and your gratitude today!