Bear with me today…these thoughts are from the deepest part of my being and as a result, probably more emotional than usual and not as composed.
Most of the blogs I have been reading are written by Catholic women with children – in some cases a lot of children and most home school these children. Is home school two words or one word…homeschool??? Oh well…
This morning, I stumbled upon a blog: http://www.anolderversion.com/ It is different from other blogs I had been reading. This blog is authored by a woman that, I believe, has struggled with infertility, miscarriages and may be pregnant and due in January, provided that everything is going OK.
As I have been reading the other blogs while I enjoy them, sometimes I think I don’t relate to this…I only have one child and he is older and living away at college, I did not home school and I did not have the opportunity to have a house full of children. Let me take a minute to explain, I have been married to my best friend for almost 27 years. I have been pregnant only three times in all these years. My first pregnancy brought me my son. The second ended in a miscarriage and the third brought the birth of my daughter that was destined to live only a few short days.
It has taken me years to get to the point where I am content with the life I have – that of only one child. My husband and I both come from large families and we both would have loved to have had several children. But, I have learned through the years, that I am not in control, the Lord is. I do not understand why things happen the way they do, but the Lord does. I do not get to see the final plan, only the Lord knows the plan and I have to accept that.
I know there are people in this world that look at couples with no children or only one child and assume that this is a choice these couples make. I have heard the comments about selfishness, please do not look at these couples and make assumptions.
Today, my prayer is that this woman is feeling better, that her pregnancy is going OK and that both she and the baby are doing well.
On a different note, the sun is shining…what a glorious day. Lord, thank you for a beautiful day. Thank you for my family – small though it may be. Bless those reading this blog and especially be with the writer of http://www.anolderversion.com/ comfort her and give her peace.
Peace….

Prayers for her as well. Blessings in abundance to you and yours this Advent Season!
Oh Mary, how I know of what you are speaking. I have found only a few Catholic women who can relate. MOST of the time I feel judged and out of place in a homeschooling (one word) environment with other Catholics who all have 4-9 children and are almost always happily pregnant or nursing or both.
I feel like they assume things about me. I have had them say things to me. I have experienced excruciating persecution.
"We have six children!" I often want to shout – "But 4 of ours are already saints in heaven!" But I don't. I am silent. And I usually cry on the way home. I can't go to many catholic homeschool events because of the torture that comes emotionally afterward.
Peace, friend. Thank you for sharing.