Exciting things are happening here!

by Mary Bonner | Nov 9, 2015 | Uncategorized | 20 comments

I am so excited about today!

As you can see, I have a WHOLE. NEW. SITE! Designed by the awesome folks at Fistbump Media. I love the site, but I am not a big fan of change, so designing a whole new site was intimidating to me. However, the great folks at Fistbump made it so EASY!! The photos of me were taken by my friend, Cathy Hughes.

Not only does my site look completely different, my whole life is completely different from when I first started blogging. I hope you will take time to look around and check things out.

To celebrate this exciting new beginning, I am hosting several giveaways all month and will be having my first ever guest posts!

Today’s giveaway is Ellie Holcomb‘s CD As Sure As the Sun. I had the opportunity to hear her LIVE when I attended the Raising Generations Today conference a few weeks ago. I love her song The Broken Beautiful.

Later this week I’ll be joined by Linda Kuhar, author of Worthy of a Miracle. You will be able to read a bit about Linda’s story on Wednesday and I’ll be giving away a SIGNED copy of her book. Next week, Rachel Britz will be joining me. She recently released her first book Goodbye Lover a novel I thoroughly enjoyed. I’ll be giving away a copy of Rachel’s book also.

On Friday of this week, I have an exciting surprise you won’t want to miss…a generous giveaway!

I’ll have another CD to give away the week of Thanksgiving. Did I just write that? Is it really almost Thanksgiving? YES, it is!!

I have much to be thankful for, including my family, my health, but I am also thankful for this site, the folks at Fistbump, my friend Cathy and all of you. I appreciate you more than you know. Thank you for taking the time to visit my corner of the web. I know you have a limited amount of time. That you choose to spend some here with me is truly a humbling experience for me. These are exciting times for me. I’ll be sharing more of the changes in future posts.

To enter to win the Ellie Holcomb CD, please leave a comment. You may earn additional entries by sharing this post on social media. Please leave an additional comment for each share. This giveaway is open until midnight, Sunday, November 15, 2015. The winner will be announced on the blog Monday, November 16th.

20 Comments

Debbie Goodwin on November 9, 2015 at 9:25 am

Love you Mary. Can’t wait to see the new blessings you have, you are, and you share. Your sister, Debbie
Reply
- Mary Bonner on November 9, 2015 at 6:38 pm
  
  Debbie! How exciting to see you here…thank you and I love you!
  Reply
Barbie on November 9, 2015 at 9:59 am

Mary! How exciting is this. I love the site. It’s fresh and clean and I am so thankful you never stopped writing and that you are still here! I look forward to your month-long giveaways! I’ve heard of Ellie Holcomb and would love to win a CD! Hugs!
Reply
- Mary Bonner on November 9, 2015 at 6:38 pm
  
  Thanks, Barbie! I so appreciate your encourage
  ment!
  Reply
Barbie on November 9, 2015 at 10:02 am

Shared on Facebook!
Reply
Barbie on November 9, 2015 at 10:02 am

Tweeted!
Reply
Elizabeth on November 9, 2015 at 10:38 am

Beautiful new site!
Reply
- Mary Bonner on November 9, 2015 at 6:39 pm
  
  Thank you, Elizabeth
  Reply
Glenda Childers on November 9, 2015 at 2:44 pm

Bravo.
Reply
- Mary Bonner on November 9, 2015 at 8:04 pm
  
  Thank you, Glenda!!
  Reply
Lisa notes... on November 9, 2015 at 3:13 pm

Looking good here, Mary! Congratulations on making a change. Change is rarely easy, no matter what kind it is. 🙂
Reply
- Mary Bonner on November 9, 2015 at 6:41 pm
  
  You know, Lisa, I think “hard” might even be an understatement!
  Reply
Tracey on November 9, 2015 at 3:54 pm

Looks great!
Reply
- Mary Bonner on November 9, 2015 at 6:41 pm
  
  thanks, Tracey!!
  Reply
Beka Conner on November 9, 2015 at 5:59 pm

So excited for you and your new site!! Wahoo!! Can’t wait to see how the Lord uses you to reach others!!
Reply
- Mary Bonner on November 9, 2015 at 6:43 pm
  
  Beka!! My goodness, two family members commenting on a post. I am humbled. I know you have plenty to do with a new baby!! Thank you for reading and commenting. I anxiously await the next thing the Lord has for me….Hugs!
  Reply
debbieputman on November 10, 2015 at 7:52 am

Congratulations! It’s beautiful!
Reply
- Mary Bonner on November 10, 2015 at 11:44 am
  
  Thanks, Debbie! I think so too!
  Reply
Doris Dunpjy on November 10, 2015 at 4:06 pm

I found your blog by accident when I was told to pick from 5 sites to enter for a giveaway. So thankful I picked your blog t checkout. I think we’re at the same place in our lives. I plan on continuing following you:-)
Reply
- Mary Bonner on November 11, 2015 at 9:19 am
  
  Thank you, Doris and WELCOME! My prayer is that this space ministers to others. If it speaks to you, it is the Lord using me.
  Reply

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In what seemed like the blink of an eye, those young 20 somethings were married for 41 years.

The second photo was taken last year on our 40th anniversary. I didn`t post it because I didn`t like the way my legs looked. Something happened in the last year and I`m reminded that those legs have carried me for 62 years (when the photo was taken). Carried me through 3 pregnancies that gifted me with one living child, @coach_andy_bonner

The last photo was taken on Tuesday as we sat on the beach and a lady walked by and said, "would you like me to take your picture?" We said yes. Time with John is still one of my favorite things. He retired on Friday, before we left on Monday for this trip. There are so many unknowns but so much to be grateful for and so much to look forward to in the next stage.

I`m grateful for my clients that give me something to do every day Monday-Friday. @christiepurifoy @kriscamealy @bekah @whatlolalikes @abby_roadhome & to the wonderful team @parkermanagement-you guys all make my life so fun!

And I`m grateful for time at a place like this. Sand and water...not sure there is anything better!

Happy Anniversary Week to my love that is not on ANY social media channel!

May 9

Open

In what seemed like the blink of an eye, those young 20 somethings were married for 41 years.

The second photo was taken last year on our 40th anniversary. I didn't post it because I didn't like the way my legs looked. Something happened in the last year and I'm reminded that those legs have carried me for 62 years (when the photo was taken). Carried me through 3 pregnancies that gifted me with one living child, @coach_andy_bonner

The last photo was taken on Tuesday as we sat on the beach and a lady walked by and said, "would you like me to take your picture?" We said yes. Time with John is still one of my favorite things. He retired on Friday, before we left on Monday for this trip. There are so many unknowns but so much to be grateful for and so much to look forward to in the next stage.

I'm grateful for my clients that give me something to do every day Monday-Friday. @christiepurifoy @kriscamealy @bekah @whatlolalikes @abby_roadhome & to the wonderful team @parkermanagement-you guys all make my life so fun!

And I'm grateful for time at a place like this. Sand and water...not sure there is anything better!

Happy Anniversary Week to my love that is not on ANY social media channel!

She died 4 days after she was born. We buried her 4 days after she died.

Born 6-9-1992

Died 6-12-1992

Buried 6-16-1992

That would be 31 years ago today.

Last year, on the 30th anniversary of her birth we re-buried her on the grounds of St. Emma Monastery Greensburg, PA where her paternal grandparents are buried.

This year, today has been harder than Friday, June 9 the day she was born. Or Monday, June 12 the day she died.

I`ve cried more today than either of the other days.

I took a walk.

Got a pedicure.

Cried.

And chose a simple dinner of appetizers.

And I give myself permission to do nothing else.

I am thankful for the time we had her. For the experience and the things I learned about myself through the experience.

John and I are very conscious of what we say yes to and what we say no to. All because of Amy`s short life.

I`ve tried to use my experience to help others experiencing infant loss-or any loss. Some things are the same no matter the age of the deceased. Even if it is a loss thru miscarriage. I`ve experienced that too.

A loss is a loss.

Thank you to my sister and niece @sherrigd @tarahelise for letting us spend last weekend on your porch crying, laughing, and drinking wine and margaritas. I love you guys more than you know and I really needed that.

#infantloss #trisomy18 #stlouischildrenshospital #grief

Jun 16

Open

She died 4 days after she was born. We buried her 4 days after she died.

Born 6-9-1992

Died 6-12-1992

Buried 6-16-1992

That would be 31 years ago today.

Last year, on the 30th anniversary of her birth we re-buried her on the grounds of St. Emma Monastery Greensburg, PA where her paternal grandparents are buried.

This year, today has been harder than Friday, June 9 the day she was born. Or Monday, June 12 the day she died.

I've cried more today than either of the other days.

I took a walk.

Got a pedicure.

Cried.

And chose a simple dinner of appetizers.

And I give myself permission to do nothing else.

I am thankful for the time we had her. For the experience and the things I learned about myself through the experience.

John and I are very conscious of what we say yes to and what we say no to. All because of Amy's short life.

I've tried to use my experience to help others experiencing infant loss-or any loss. Some things are the same no matter the age of the deceased. Even if it is a loss thru miscarriage. I've experienced that too.

A loss is a loss.

Thank you to my sister and niece @sherrigd @tarahelise for letting us spend last weekend on your porch crying, laughing, and drinking wine and margaritas. I love you guys more than you know and I really needed that.

#infantloss #trisomy18 #stlouischildrenshospital #grief

In what seems like the blink of an eye, it is 31 years later. Not a day goes by that I do not think of her.

My heart still hurts.

I cry at random times.

And I miss her. Still. 31 years later.

I grieve all the things that didn`t happen.

The relationships.

The life events.

Strangely though there are fewer tears today. Sometimes I think my tears are all gone. The well is dry.

Lack of tears does not mean lack of grief. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. So I accept my emotions today-whatever they may be.

If you know someone that has experienced a loss, don`t be afraid to tell them you remember. Let them know you care. Take a meal, send a text, write and snail mail a card. We want to know our loss is not forgotten.

#infantloss #trisomy18 #stlouischildrenshospital #grief

Jun 9

Open

In what seems like the blink of an eye, it is 31 years later. Not a day goes by that I do not think of her.

My heart still hurts.

I cry at random times.

And I miss her. Still. 31 years later.

I grieve all the things that didn't happen.

The relationships.

The life events.

Strangely though there are fewer tears today. Sometimes I think my tears are all gone. The well is dry.

Lack of tears does not mean lack of grief. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. So I accept my emotions today-whatever they may be.

If you know someone that has experienced a loss, don't be afraid to tell them you remember. Let them know you care. Take a meal, send a text, write and snail mail a card. We want to know our loss is not forgotten.

#infantloss #trisomy18 #stlouischildrenshospital #grief

Today is Palm Sunday.

I cried in church. Not because I was thinking about the events leading up to the crucifixion but because there was a little girl of about 5 or so sitting in front of me. She had the most gorgeous dark hair. With streaks of gold running through it. Natural streaks. Not the artificial colored streaks I pay more than I`m willing to share to get every few months.

As I observed her I thought about my own daughter. The one that died at 4 days old.

I thought of how she might be standing next to me this morning or next Sunday on Easter. Maybe she would have travelled to Charlotte to spend some time with her dad and me.

Grief is something that robs us of so much. It robs me of not just my daughter but it robs me of being the mom of a daughter.

I look at some of my closest friends, all mothers of daughters and I envy, yes ENVY!, the relationships they all have with their daughters. They may not agree with them on all things or see eye-to-eye with them but the daughters lead the charge to throw surprise 60th birthday parties for their parents or make sure that mom gets a Mother`s Day card, a birthday card, etc.

I think daughters are different than sons. Daughters are more sensitive than sons based on my observations as an outsider. I do not experience that sensitivity.
And I grieve the fact that I am not the mother of a daughter.

The version of me before Amy`s death is totally different than the me that is here now.

If you want to read more about about my daughter, Amy, you can go to https://marybonner.net/?s=Amy and read more about my journey through infant loss and moving forward.

Adam McHugh`s book Blood From a Stone is a beautiful piece of writing about returning from the dead. I encourage you to check it out. You can find the book on Amazon or wherever books are sold. Find and follow him @adammchughwine You won`t be sorry.

"Grief is so agonizing not only because you have lost something, but you have lost someone, and that someone is the version of you that was alive before your loss."
Blood From a Stone
Adam McHugh
Page 102

Apr 2

Open

Today is Palm Sunday.

I cried in church. Not because I was thinking about the events leading up to the crucifixion but because there was a little girl of about 5 or so sitting in front of me. She had the most gorgeous dark hair. With streaks of gold running through it. Natural streaks. Not the artificial colored streaks I pay more than I'm willing to share to get every few months.

As I observed her I thought about my own daughter. The one that died at 4 days old.

I thought of how she might be standing next to me this morning or next Sunday on Easter. Maybe she would have travelled to Charlotte to spend some time with her dad and me.

Grief is something that robs us of so much. It robs me of not just my daughter but it robs me of being the mom of a daughter.

I look at some of my closest friends, all mothers of daughters and I envy, yes ENVY!, the relationships they all have with their daughters. They may not agree with them on all things or see eye-to-eye with them but the daughters lead the charge to throw surprise 60th birthday parties for their parents or make sure that mom gets a Mother's Day card, a birthday card, etc.

I think daughters are different than sons. Daughters are more sensitive than sons based on my observations as an outsider. I do not experience that sensitivity.
And I grieve the fact that I am not the mother of a daughter.

The version of me before Amy's death is totally different than the me that is here now.

If you want to read more about about my daughter, Amy, you can go to https://marybonner.net/?s=Amy and read more about my journey through infant loss and moving forward.

Adam McHugh's book Blood From a Stone is a beautiful piece of writing about returning from the dead. I encourage you to check it out. You can find the book on Amazon or wherever books are sold. Find and follow him @adammchughwine You won't be sorry.

"Grief is so agonizing not only because you have lost something, but you have lost someone, and that someone is the version of you that was alive before your loss."
Blood From a Stone
Adam McHugh
Page 102

@coach_andy_bonner made me a mom. His wife, Ashley, made me a mother-in-law. Happy Anniversary to them! 6 years and counting. Dad and I love you!

Aug 6

Open

@coach_andy_bonner made me a mom. His wife, Ashley, made me a mother-in-law. Happy Anniversary to them! 6 years and counting. Dad and I love you!

Every June I think I`m going to handle this better. Whatever better looks like - I don`t know. 30 years and I still cry at random times. And every June I fall apart.

She would have been 30 next week. Instead of whisking her off for a 30th birthday trip to Key West like we did for her brother @coach_andy_bonner or Niagara Falls like we did for his wife we will make another kind of trip.

There will be a mass next Saturday and we will stand at a grave site as we move her body from the small town where she was buried to a final resting place by her paternal grandparents on the beautiful grounds of St Emma Monastery in Greensburg, PA.

I look forward to the weekend and I dread it all at the same time.

Today I broke down and sobbed. Just like yesterday. And probably will tomorrow. But I remember that He catches my tears in a bottle Psalm 56:8

If I learned anything from
this life experience, it is this: I can do hard things. But not of my own strength. Philippians 4:13

And live to tell about.

Amy Elizabeth Bonner
Jun 9, 1992 - Jun 12, 1992

#infantloss #psalm56
#trisomy18 #philippians413 #childloss #infantlosssurvivor