Finally! I can tell you what’s going on!!!

by Mary Bonner | Feb 12, 2013 | Uncategorized | 11 comments

Some exciting things are
happening in my life and I am so glad to FINALLY be able to tell you about this
part!

I am going to be a co-leader of an in(Courager) group!!! The people at the in(Courage) website came up with this great idea last fall to have in(Courager) groups. Groups of women that support each other in various stages of life or situations. There are groups for empty nesters. Groups for writers, caregivers, moms of special needs children, homeschooling moms, a variety of groups to meet many different needs.

What group am I co-leading???

I am partnering with Aubrey Barela of The Barela Family blog to lead the

Fitness/Healthy Living in(Couragers) community group!!

YES!
ME!
God calls people to serve, even when they think they are not worthy (I’m not)
and when they are not educated enough (think Moses).
But God used Moses in a big way. I pray that he can use me too.

I am humbled and honored to be a part of this life-giving community
of in(Couragers). If you are not familiar with this online community, you
can read all about them here.

This is Aubrey

This is me

First, let me tell you a
little about me. I’ve been married for almost 30 years to the best
husband in the world. You might think you are married to the best
husband, but I REALLY am! 🙂 I have one living child. He is
almost 25, lives at home, works and goes to school. I work part-time as
an Administrative Assistant at a Division 1 college. I do a lot of event
planning, balancing budgets and making sure professors have what they need,
when they need it! Kind of like being a MOM!

working
part-time + being married + being a Mom +

keeping
house + doing laundry + etc. etc. etc.

=
healthy living can be a challenge

But – as with many things
life – it is all about the choices we make.

I strive to CHOOSE to make
healthier choices more often than not.

I lost 25 pounds while
following the Weight Watchers program 27 years ago. I worked as a leader
for 16 years and loved the encouraging and motivating aspect of the job;
leading the discussion was my favorite part. It gave me such joy to see
women (and some men!) succeed at changing their lifestyle. While I have
an almost empty nest now, I didn’t then…I was a young mom and was trying to
balance a number of things. Changing my eating habits and starting to
exercise made a difference in my life. I recognize that losing weight
will not be everyone’s goal. And I realize that being thin doesn’t make
one healthy. But I am so looking forward to this group and not only
encouraging the members, but being open to what the Lord wants to say

to all
of us

about our lifestyle and

how we honor the temple of our body.

Our mission for this group
is…

to
encourage and empower women to work toward a healthy

lifestyle by eating right
and getting some activity.

As a group
we will recognize
that we are all at different places on our healthy lifestyle journey.

As
your leaders we will:

§ do our best to
encourage, motivate and give you knowledge, tips and help when we can. But you are ultimately responsible for doing
the work to see results.

§ facilitate
conversations within the group but we want everyone to be actively involved in
mutually encouraging and helping fellow members. You will only get out of the
group as much as you put into the group.

Aubrey and I will be hosting
a private Facebook group. We will be posting an article, a
question…something to encourage all of us and make us think about our healthy
living journey. And remember – healthy living is a JOURNEY, not a
DESTINATION.

If you are interested in this
group, you can click here and join. (I hope!)

If the link to the group doesn’t work, please, please e-mail me at mbonner1021 (at) yahoo (dot) com or Aubrey at
aubsbarela (at) gmail (dot) com and let us know you want to join. Please put in(Courager) group in the subject line
and include how to find you on Facebook, so that we can add you to the group.

You can find all the in(Courager)s groups here and sign-up for the in(Courager) community newsletter!

Again, I feel honored and blessed to be a part of this community…at the same time, I feel unqualified. But I cling to this word from 1 Peter…

If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

1 Peter 4:11 emphasis mine

I am looking forward to connecting with you and getting to know you…

11 Comments

BARBIE on February 12, 2013 at 7:34 am

Mary, what an honor. You will be a wonderful and inspiring co-leader. I've clicked over to join the group, although right now I feel like a slacker.
Reply
- Mary Bonner on February 13, 2013 at 12:04 am
  
  Barbie…it is all about baby steps! Looking forward to encouraging you in your quest for a healthy lifestyle.
  Reply
Lynda on February 12, 2013 at 7:43 am

Congratulations! What a wonderful opportunity.
Reply
- Mary Bonner on February 13, 2013 at 12:04 am
  
  thank you, Lynda!
  Reply
Dianne on February 12, 2013 at 4:08 pm

Mary, God is blowing me away with all He is doing in your life.

I am so proud of you for being so open to His workings.

May you be truly blessed in this new endeavor. Rejoicing with you!
Reply
- Mary Bonner on February 13, 2013 at 12:05 am
  
  Dianne, I am blown away too. Seriously I am!
  Reply
mary333 on February 12, 2013 at 8:00 pm

That's great news, Mary! Congratulations!
Reply
- Mary Bonner on February 13, 2013 at 12:05 am
  
  Thanks, Mary!
  Reply
Amy on February 13, 2013 at 12:34 am

So excited to hang with two of my favorite tweeps in your group. So excited to have this opportunity. 🙂
Reply
- Mary Bonner on February 13, 2013 at 12:41 am
  
  So glad you are joining, Amy!!
  Reply
Dolly @Soulstops on February 13, 2013 at 5:58 pm

Congrats, Mary…I am sure you will be an awesome leader because you are relying on God for your strength…So proud of you and happy for you 🙂
Reply

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In what seemed like the blink of an eye, those young 20 somethings were married for 41 years.

The second photo was taken last year on our 40th anniversary. I didn`t post it because I didn`t like the way my legs looked. Something happened in the last year and I`m reminded that those legs have carried me for 62 years (when the photo was taken). Carried me through 3 pregnancies that gifted me with one living child, @coach_andy_bonner

The last photo was taken on Tuesday as we sat on the beach and a lady walked by and said, "would you like me to take your picture?" We said yes. Time with John is still one of my favorite things. He retired on Friday, before we left on Monday for this trip. There are so many unknowns but so much to be grateful for and so much to look forward to in the next stage.

I`m grateful for my clients that give me something to do every day Monday-Friday. @christiepurifoy @kriscamealy @bekah @whatlolalikes @abby_roadhome & to the wonderful team @parkermanagement-you guys all make my life so fun!

And I`m grateful for time at a place like this. Sand and water...not sure there is anything better!

Happy Anniversary Week to my love that is not on ANY social media channel!

May 9

Open

In what seemed like the blink of an eye, those young 20 somethings were married for 41 years.

The second photo was taken last year on our 40th anniversary. I didn't post it because I didn't like the way my legs looked. Something happened in the last year and I'm reminded that those legs have carried me for 62 years (when the photo was taken). Carried me through 3 pregnancies that gifted me with one living child, @coach_andy_bonner

The last photo was taken on Tuesday as we sat on the beach and a lady walked by and said, "would you like me to take your picture?" We said yes. Time with John is still one of my favorite things. He retired on Friday, before we left on Monday for this trip. There are so many unknowns but so much to be grateful for and so much to look forward to in the next stage.

I'm grateful for my clients that give me something to do every day Monday-Friday. @christiepurifoy @kriscamealy @bekah @whatlolalikes @abby_roadhome & to the wonderful team @parkermanagement-you guys all make my life so fun!

And I'm grateful for time at a place like this. Sand and water...not sure there is anything better!

Happy Anniversary Week to my love that is not on ANY social media channel!

She died 4 days after she was born. We buried her 4 days after she died.

Born 6-9-1992

Died 6-12-1992

Buried 6-16-1992

That would be 31 years ago today.

Last year, on the 30th anniversary of her birth we re-buried her on the grounds of St. Emma Monastery Greensburg, PA where her paternal grandparents are buried.

This year, today has been harder than Friday, June 9 the day she was born. Or Monday, June 12 the day she died.

I`ve cried more today than either of the other days.

I took a walk.

Got a pedicure.

Cried.

And chose a simple dinner of appetizers.

And I give myself permission to do nothing else.

I am thankful for the time we had her. For the experience and the things I learned about myself through the experience.

John and I are very conscious of what we say yes to and what we say no to. All because of Amy`s short life.

I`ve tried to use my experience to help others experiencing infant loss-or any loss. Some things are the same no matter the age of the deceased. Even if it is a loss thru miscarriage. I`ve experienced that too.

A loss is a loss.

Thank you to my sister and niece @sherrigd @tarahelise for letting us spend last weekend on your porch crying, laughing, and drinking wine and margaritas. I love you guys more than you know and I really needed that.

#infantloss #trisomy18 #stlouischildrenshospital #grief

Jun 16

Open

She died 4 days after she was born. We buried her 4 days after she died.

Born 6-9-1992

Died 6-12-1992

Buried 6-16-1992

That would be 31 years ago today.

Last year, on the 30th anniversary of her birth we re-buried her on the grounds of St. Emma Monastery Greensburg, PA where her paternal grandparents are buried.

This year, today has been harder than Friday, June 9 the day she was born. Or Monday, June 12 the day she died.

I've cried more today than either of the other days.

I took a walk.

Got a pedicure.

Cried.

And chose a simple dinner of appetizers.

And I give myself permission to do nothing else.

I am thankful for the time we had her. For the experience and the things I learned about myself through the experience.

John and I are very conscious of what we say yes to and what we say no to. All because of Amy's short life.

I've tried to use my experience to help others experiencing infant loss-or any loss. Some things are the same no matter the age of the deceased. Even if it is a loss thru miscarriage. I've experienced that too.

A loss is a loss.

Thank you to my sister and niece @sherrigd @tarahelise for letting us spend last weekend on your porch crying, laughing, and drinking wine and margaritas. I love you guys more than you know and I really needed that.

#infantloss #trisomy18 #stlouischildrenshospital #grief

In what seems like the blink of an eye, it is 31 years later. Not a day goes by that I do not think of her.

My heart still hurts.

I cry at random times.

And I miss her. Still. 31 years later.

I grieve all the things that didn`t happen.

The relationships.

The life events.

Strangely though there are fewer tears today. Sometimes I think my tears are all gone. The well is dry.

Lack of tears does not mean lack of grief. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. So I accept my emotions today-whatever they may be.

If you know someone that has experienced a loss, don`t be afraid to tell them you remember. Let them know you care. Take a meal, send a text, write and snail mail a card. We want to know our loss is not forgotten.

#infantloss #trisomy18 #stlouischildrenshospital #grief

Jun 9

Open

In what seems like the blink of an eye, it is 31 years later. Not a day goes by that I do not think of her.

My heart still hurts.

I cry at random times.

And I miss her. Still. 31 years later.

I grieve all the things that didn't happen.

The relationships.

The life events.

Strangely though there are fewer tears today. Sometimes I think my tears are all gone. The well is dry.

Lack of tears does not mean lack of grief. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. So I accept my emotions today-whatever they may be.

If you know someone that has experienced a loss, don't be afraid to tell them you remember. Let them know you care. Take a meal, send a text, write and snail mail a card. We want to know our loss is not forgotten.

#infantloss #trisomy18 #stlouischildrenshospital #grief

Today is Palm Sunday.

I cried in church. Not because I was thinking about the events leading up to the crucifixion but because there was a little girl of about 5 or so sitting in front of me. She had the most gorgeous dark hair. With streaks of gold running through it. Natural streaks. Not the artificial colored streaks I pay more than I`m willing to share to get every few months.

As I observed her I thought about my own daughter. The one that died at 4 days old.

I thought of how she might be standing next to me this morning or next Sunday on Easter. Maybe she would have travelled to Charlotte to spend some time with her dad and me.

Grief is something that robs us of so much. It robs me of not just my daughter but it robs me of being the mom of a daughter.

I look at some of my closest friends, all mothers of daughters and I envy, yes ENVY!, the relationships they all have with their daughters. They may not agree with them on all things or see eye-to-eye with them but the daughters lead the charge to throw surprise 60th birthday parties for their parents or make sure that mom gets a Mother`s Day card, a birthday card, etc.

I think daughters are different than sons. Daughters are more sensitive than sons based on my observations as an outsider. I do not experience that sensitivity.
And I grieve the fact that I am not the mother of a daughter.

The version of me before Amy`s death is totally different than the me that is here now.

If you want to read more about about my daughter, Amy, you can go to https://marybonner.net/?s=Amy and read more about my journey through infant loss and moving forward.

Adam McHugh`s book Blood From a Stone is a beautiful piece of writing about returning from the dead. I encourage you to check it out. You can find the book on Amazon or wherever books are sold. Find and follow him @adammchughwine You won`t be sorry.

"Grief is so agonizing not only because you have lost something, but you have lost someone, and that someone is the version of you that was alive before your loss."
Blood From a Stone
Adam McHugh
Page 102

Apr 2

Open

Today is Palm Sunday.

I cried in church. Not because I was thinking about the events leading up to the crucifixion but because there was a little girl of about 5 or so sitting in front of me. She had the most gorgeous dark hair. With streaks of gold running through it. Natural streaks. Not the artificial colored streaks I pay more than I'm willing to share to get every few months.

As I observed her I thought about my own daughter. The one that died at 4 days old.

I thought of how she might be standing next to me this morning or next Sunday on Easter. Maybe she would have travelled to Charlotte to spend some time with her dad and me.

Grief is something that robs us of so much. It robs me of not just my daughter but it robs me of being the mom of a daughter.

I look at some of my closest friends, all mothers of daughters and I envy, yes ENVY!, the relationships they all have with their daughters. They may not agree with them on all things or see eye-to-eye with them but the daughters lead the charge to throw surprise 60th birthday parties for their parents or make sure that mom gets a Mother's Day card, a birthday card, etc.

I think daughters are different than sons. Daughters are more sensitive than sons based on my observations as an outsider. I do not experience that sensitivity.
And I grieve the fact that I am not the mother of a daughter.

The version of me before Amy's death is totally different than the me that is here now.

If you want to read more about about my daughter, Amy, you can go to https://marybonner.net/?s=Amy and read more about my journey through infant loss and moving forward.

Adam McHugh's book Blood From a Stone is a beautiful piece of writing about returning from the dead. I encourage you to check it out. You can find the book on Amazon or wherever books are sold. Find and follow him @adammchughwine You won't be sorry.

"Grief is so agonizing not only because you have lost something, but you have lost someone, and that someone is the version of you that was alive before your loss."
Blood From a Stone
Adam McHugh
Page 102

@coach_andy_bonner made me a mom. His wife, Ashley, made me a mother-in-law. Happy Anniversary to them! 6 years and counting. Dad and I love you!

Aug 6

Open

@coach_andy_bonner made me a mom. His wife, Ashley, made me a mother-in-law. Happy Anniversary to them! 6 years and counting. Dad and I love you!

Every June I think I`m going to handle this better. Whatever better looks like - I don`t know. 30 years and I still cry at random times. And every June I fall apart.

She would have been 30 next week. Instead of whisking her off for a 30th birthday trip to Key West like we did for her brother @coach_andy_bonner or Niagara Falls like we did for his wife we will make another kind of trip.

There will be a mass next Saturday and we will stand at a grave site as we move her body from the small town where she was buried to a final resting place by her paternal grandparents on the beautiful grounds of St Emma Monastery in Greensburg, PA.

I look forward to the weekend and I dread it all at the same time.

Today I broke down and sobbed. Just like yesterday. And probably will tomorrow. But I remember that He catches my tears in a bottle Psalm 56:8

If I learned anything from
this life experience, it is this: I can do hard things. But not of my own strength. Philippians 4:13

And live to tell about.

Amy Elizabeth Bonner
Jun 9, 1992 - Jun 12, 1992

#infantloss #psalm56
#trisomy18 #philippians413 #childloss #infantlosssurvivor