It was late afternoon, but early for dinner. The restaurant was getting full, but not overcrowded. We sat at a high-top table in the bar. The chips were warm and salty, the salsa mild but good and the margaritas were excellent. We shared a dinner of fish tacos and carne asada quesadillas. And talked.
It had been months since we’d had a chance to catch up and we were both looking forward to spending some time together. As we finished dinner the talk turned to life and the deeper subject of moving on after being wounded by pain and loss.
Moving past the hurt.
Past the pain.
We talked about what moving on looks like and how you do it. She’d been hurt. Deeply hurt.
I shed a few tears as I shared with her what happened after Amy died. How I didn’t move on well. I told her how it was two full years before I finally broke down.
Then I was a mess. A total mess.
I shared how the last 3 1/2 years have been really hard with serious illness in my family, losing my parents and mother-in-law. Then I told her, “But I believe God is totally trustworthy.”
She said, “Do you really believe that?”
“I do,” I replied.
I believe He has a plan and I can trust that plan. Jeremiah 29:11
I get where she is coming from. It seems like platitudes abound in the world of Christians. We say things because they sound like the right thing to say. But this statement was no platitude. For me, it is a truth to which I cling.
It has taken me many years to get to the point where I can believe it.
Where I can believe that He will NOT leave me high and dry. That He IS totally trustworthy.
Yes, I was taught this all my life, but that doesn’t mean that I embraced and believed it. Life has taught me that it is true. That it is fact.
We have Christ and we have hope in him as an anchor. Hebrews 6:13-19
And that it is something to cling to when life is hard.
Because that anchor will hold. Always.
I love the song The Anchor Holds. There have been times in my life that I play it on repeat. If you can’t see the video, use this link.
Ash Wednesday is this week. My friend Shelly Miller, author of Rhythms of Rest, has written a FREE ebook for Lent. It is different than what you might suspect. She says this about it…
A Sabbath Journey for Lent is a different pilgrimage than most. It is a once a week reflection that encourages the practice of resting a different part of your anatomy. With scripture verses, soul stirring questions, prompts for repentance and intimate prayers, my hope is that practicing new rhythms of rest over six weeks will result in transformation, of returning to your true self.
You can find the free ebook here.
Do you believe God is totally trustworthy? Do you believe that your anchor will hold?
I am linking with Jennifer Lee’s Tell His Story
Beautiful post, Mary.
I watched, cried and prayed for you during the years following Amy’s death.
Even from the many miles that separated us physically, I could feel you struggle to grieve, grasp and grow through the process of God’s calling Amy back home.
But as always, our God IS TRUSTWORTHY.
He is also faithful, loving, patient, gentle, forgiving and never fails to be there with His arms open wide when we are ready to TRUST again.
Love the growth I’ve seen in you!
Your sister,
Carolyn
Carolyn, it was the prayers of people like you that helped me get through that time. Thank you. Thank you for reading my blog too! I love you.
Oh friend. This is beautiful. Your words.This song…Thank you.
Thank you, Diane. Love your friend.
This is lovely. I’m glad you have know God with you and seen his faithfulness through your difficult time. That is a powerful testimony to encourage others with. I like the song you shared too.
Thank you, Lesley.
Those of us who have walked these rocky roads appreciate the honesty as well as the reflection shown in your post. Thanks.
Thank you, Bill.