Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
I Peter 5:7
If you have read my blog very often, you have read this scripture probably more than any other. After Amy died, I re-read every sympathy card and made notes of any scriptures that were on the card, either written in by the sender or printed somewhere on the card. I Peter 5:7 showed up alot. The King James Version reads:
Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
He cares for me and is willing to take all my cares, all my anxiety, all my worry, all my fears…if I will just cast them upon him. This is a pretty awesome promise, one I think of often.
I made it through yesterday…no tears at work on Tuesday or Wednesday, just tears in the car and at home…or at cantor practice. On Tuesday night I had cantor practice at church. As John & I had dinner before I left for practice, I got teary-eyed and he asked if I was going to go, I told him yes, I would be fine. As we were singing the Psalm, one of the first things we did, and it was my turn to sing a verse, I got through two phrases and completely broke down. We were singing Psalm 63…my verse was number 3…”I will bless your name all the days I live, I will raise my hands and call on you…” That is as far as I got before I quit singing. All I could think about was how I have called on Him sooooo many times over the years, especially when Amy died. I announced that tomorrow was my daughter’s birthday and I just really wanted to go home. I left practice in tears and a wonderful lady followed me out to make sure I was OK before driving home. We chatted for a few minutes, I shared some with her about Amy and she made a comment about June babies being good, this lady was a June baby. Her birthday is June 12th…the day Amy died. Doesn’t God work in mysterious ways?!? I actually felt better as I drove home. Thank you, Ann.
I survived yesterday…I will survive June 12th…I will survive June 16th, the day we buried her. I will survive…period. Gloria Gaynor has nothing on me! I have the Lord on my side, willing and able to take ALL my care, all I have to do is cast it upon Him. One of the things I learned from that period of my life is that I CAN do much more that I ever thought I could, but only because He is with me.
Maybe, after 18 years, I have reached a point where I can put some of those lessons in writing. Maybe it is time for me to put some of those thoughts and memories in writing. I don’t know, I will have to think on that…I am not sure what I will do.
Thank you for bearing with me another day…I have much in my heart that I want to share, but it will have to come out slowly, over time.
When I got home yesterday, there was a message from Ann and another friend letting me know they were thinking about me, I rec’d an e-mail message early yesterday morning from a friend, when I got home from work there were flowers on my porch with a note signed “Thinking of you today” but no name, several readers sent messages they were thinking of me…then last night Andy called to see how I was doing…he remembered it was Amy’s birthday! That was a really good sign for me…Andy is doing well in California and just wanted me to know he was thinking about me.
Thank you to all of you…I could feel your prayers.
Have a blessed day!
Even in the midst of my sadness…I have so many blessings
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