These are tall orders! Orders that I have to work at practicing. I am not always joyful. I do not always pray. Giving thanks in all things is something that I have to work at too! Billy Graham wrote in Hope for Each Day that “Pray without ceasing” (I Thess. 5:17) “should be the motto of ever true follower of Christ.” He tells a story of a woman that wrote to him and said she had been pleading with the Lord for 10 years for the conversion of her husband and yet the husband seemed more hardened than ever. Billy Graham urged her to continue praying. The woman wrote him some time later and said the husband “miraculously converted in the eleventh year of her prayer vigil.” I bet she is glad she didn’t stop praying!
I know in my prayer life I get caught up with not only wanting things done MY way, but I want them NOW. I believe the lesson the Lord wants me to take from Billy Graham’s writing is that He, the Lord, is in charge. He, the Lord, will decide what. He, the Lord, will decide when. He, the Lord, will decide how. My part in His plan is to pray without ceasing and let Him work things out in His perfect will and in His perfect time. He doesn’t need me to tell him when, where or how! 🙂
Lord, thank you for this reminder today. I know that I need to put this into practice and I know that with your help and gentle reminders I can do better in this aspect of my life. I know that I do not know the plans you have for those I love and I will try be patient, waiting on You, in Your perfect time to work things out. Please give me the gentle reminders when I fail to do this.
Some of you may have read my blog when I wrote about Jonathan, my co-workers 10 week old grandson. He is really going down very quickly and will probably not live much longer…please keep that family in your prayers.
It is Monday and I have so much for which to be thankful. I start my new job officially on May 3rd, but am going two days this week and next week for training. I am excited; looking forward to a new challenge. So, I continue to add to my gratitude list. You can visit and join the gratitude community. Click the Multitude Monday button.
46. a new week.
47. a new job.
48. a work project completed.
49. prayer group friends.
50. cozy blankets.
51. trees that are blooming.
52. aging parents.
53. memories.
54. courage to try something new.
55. Sunday worship.
I would love for you to share some of your thoughts!
Hi. I'm here from holy experience. what a great lst. definitely courage is a blessing, as are aging parents. I'm so blessed they are both still here. and I see you're blessed by your parents too. and congrats on that new job! nice to meet you.
How wonderful to be thankful in all things! Your post is encouraging…thanks for sharing your heart with us! Oh how we must hold onto those precious truths…that we can pray at any time…and we must never give up! What a beautiful story of the lady who prayed for 11 years for her husband to be saved…wow!
Your item ~ memories…they are lovely, but the really good ones can bring me to tears! Where does the time go??
Hi Mary- thanks for your gracious comment on my wobbly castle cake! I'm very struck by your words today- at our local churches' prayer meeting this morning we were led very much to remember to be grateful. Wouldn't it be fabulous if all over this God globe the Spirit was inspiring words of gratitude. I like that thought! And all the Monday bloggers sending incense to heaven… I don't know how I made the logo smaller- I got tired of copying it from Holy Experience through the long cade, and saved the image into My Pictures. After that it became the little tag that I just upload when I browse from the file. Hope that makes some sense- I'm a bit of a troglodyte really!
In what seemed like the blink of an eye, those young 20 somethings were married for 41 years.
The second photo was taken last year on our 40th anniversary. I didn`t post it because I didn`t like the way my legs looked. Something happened in the last year and I`m reminded that those legs have carried me for 62 years (when the photo was taken). Carried me through 3 pregnancies that gifted me with one living child, @coach_andy_bonner
The last photo was taken on Tuesday as we sat on the beach and a lady walked by and said, "would you like me to take your picture?" We said yes. Time with John is still one of my favorite things. He retired on Friday, before we left on Monday for this trip. There are so many unknowns but so much to be grateful for and so much to look forward to in the next stage.
I`m grateful for my clients that give me something to do every day Monday-Friday. @christiepurifoy @kriscamealy @bekah @whatlolalikes @abby_roadhome & to the wonderful team @parkermanagement-you guys all make my life so fun!
And I`m grateful for time at a place like this. Sand and water...not sure there is anything better!
Happy Anniversary Week to my love that is not on ANY social media channel!
She died 4 days after she was born. We buried her 4 days after she died.
Born 6-9-1992
Died 6-12-1992
Buried 6-16-1992
That would be 31 years ago today.
Last year, on the 30th anniversary of her birth we re-buried her on the grounds of St. Emma Monastery Greensburg, PA where her paternal grandparents are buried.
This year, today has been harder than Friday, June 9 the day she was born. Or Monday, June 12 the day she died.
I`ve cried more today than either of the other days.
I took a walk.
Got a pedicure.
Cried.
And chose a simple dinner of appetizers.
And I give myself permission to do nothing else.
I am thankful for the time we had her. For the experience and the things I learned about myself through the experience.
John and I are very conscious of what we say yes to and what we say no to. All because of Amy`s short life.
I`ve tried to use my experience to help others experiencing infant loss-or any loss. Some things are the same no matter the age of the deceased. Even if it is a loss thru miscarriage. I`ve experienced that too.
A loss is a loss.
Thank you to my sister and niece @sherrigd @tarahelise for letting us spend last weekend on your porch crying, laughing, and drinking wine and margaritas. I love you guys more than you know and I really needed that.
In what seems like the blink of an eye, it is 31 years later. Not a day goes by that I do not think of her.
My heart still hurts.
I cry at random times.
And I miss her. Still. 31 years later.
I grieve all the things that didn`t happen.
The relationships.
The life events.
Strangely though there are fewer tears today. Sometimes I think my tears are all gone. The well is dry.
Lack of tears does not mean lack of grief. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. So I accept my emotions today-whatever they may be.
If you know someone that has experienced a loss, don`t be afraid to tell them you remember. Let them know you care. Take a meal, send a text, write and snail mail a card. We want to know our loss is not forgotten.
I cried in church. Not because I was thinking about the events leading up to the crucifixion but because there was a little girl of about 5 or so sitting in front of me. She had the most gorgeous dark hair. With streaks of gold running through it. Natural streaks. Not the artificial colored streaks I pay more than I`m willing to share to get every few months.
As I observed her I thought about my own daughter. The one that died at 4 days old.
I thought of how she might be standing next to me this morning or next Sunday on Easter. Maybe she would have travelled to Charlotte to spend some time with her dad and me.
Grief is something that robs us of so much. It robs me of not just my daughter but it robs me of being the mom of a daughter.
I look at some of my closest friends, all mothers of daughters and I envy, yes ENVY!, the relationships they all have with their daughters. They may not agree with them on all things or see eye-to-eye with them but the daughters lead the charge to throw surprise 60th birthday parties for their parents or make sure that mom gets a Mother`s Day card, a birthday card, etc.
I think daughters are different than sons. Daughters are more sensitive than sons based on my observations as an outsider. I do not experience that sensitivity. And I grieve the fact that I am not the mother of a daughter.
The version of me before Amy`s death is totally different than the me that is here now.
If you want to read more about about my daughter, Amy, you can go to https://marybonner.net/?s=Amy and read more about my journey through infant loss and moving forward.
Adam McHugh`s book Blood From a Stone is a beautiful piece of writing about returning from the dead. I encourage you to check it out. You can find the book on Amazon or wherever books are sold. Find and follow him @adammchughwine You won`t be sorry.
"Grief is so agonizing not only because you have lost something, but you have lost someone, and that someone is the version of you that was alive before your loss." Blood From a Stone Adam McHugh Page 102
Every June I think I`m going to handle this better. Whatever better looks like - I don`t know. 30 years and I still cry at random times. And every June I fall apart.
She would have been 30 next week. Instead of whisking her off for a 30th birthday trip to Key West like we did for her brother @coach_andy_bonner or Niagara Falls like we did for his wife we will make another kind of trip.
There will be a mass next Saturday and we will stand at a grave site as we move her body from the small town where she was buried to a final resting place by her paternal grandparents on the beautiful grounds of St Emma Monastery in Greensburg, PA.
I look forward to the weekend and I dread it all at the same time.
Today I broke down and sobbed. Just like yesterday. And probably will tomorrow. But I remember that He catches my tears in a bottle Psalm 56:8
If I learned anything from this life experience, it is this: I can do hard things. But not of my own strength. Philippians 4:13
Hi. I'm here from holy experience. what a great lst. definitely courage is a blessing, as are aging parents. I'm so blessed they are both still here. and I see you're blessed by your parents too. and congrats on that new job! nice to meet you.
How wonderful to be thankful in all things! Your post is encouraging…thanks for sharing your heart with us! Oh how we must hold onto those precious truths…that we can pray at any time…and we must never give up! What a beautiful story of the lady who prayed for 11 years for her husband to be saved…wow!
Your item ~ memories…they are lovely, but the really good ones can bring me to tears! Where does the time go??
Blessings,
Camille
Hi Mary- thanks for your gracious comment on my wobbly castle cake! I'm very struck by your words today- at our local churches' prayer meeting this morning we were led very much to remember to be grateful. Wouldn't it be fabulous if all over this God globe the Spirit was inspiring words of gratitude. I like that thought! And all the Monday bloggers sending incense to heaven… I don't know how I made the logo smaller- I got tired of copying it from Holy Experience through the long cade, and saved the image into My Pictures. After that it became the little tag that I just upload when I browse from the file. Hope that makes some sense- I'm a bit of a troglodyte really!