Bear with me on today’s post…you need some background for what I am saying to make sense….even then, it may only make sense to me!
An ordinary day…at least I thought it was going to be an ordinary day. Last Thursday, I got ready for work and as I was pulling out of my driveway my cell phone rang. The screen said “Andy.” That’s my son. Why was he calling me? The conversation went something like this:
Me: “Hi, Andy. What’s up?”
Andy: “You need to come get me. I am being sent home with the flu.”
Thus began what turned out to be, not just an un-ordinary day, but an un-ordinary weekend. I drove the 80 miles to pick him up and brought him home. Of course, having Andy in the house requires much more food than is necessary when it is just John and me in the house! So a trip to the grocery store was in order. Over $100.00 later…
Andy was much better by Friday morning and I took him back to school this morning. (Most of the food I purchased has already been eaten!) As I was driving back home I began to think about the years since Andy graduated from high school. When he was in the 5th grade he announced where he wanted to attend college. It was a United States service academy; highly selective and most that get nominations, do not get appointments. Andy succeeded; he received three nominations and got his appointment. However, after a year he knew that was not what he wanted. He moved back home as we were moving from the Midwest to the east coast. After two years at a local community college, he is now away at a state university – still trying to decide what he wants to do with his life. He is frustrated with not knowing what he is supposed to do; as parents, it is frustrating for John & me to watch. I pray daily for him – as I am sure most parents pray for their children. But he has to make his own decisions and his own choices.
As I drove home, I was reminded of the choices Andy has made with which I have agreed and those with which I did not agree. The times that I said something and immediately wished I had not. The times that I didn’t say anything and later wished I had. Those times cannot be recalled. There is no instant replay in life. I can and have asked for forgiveness from both Andy and the Lord, but I still wish I had reacted differently. And yet, as I thought about this, my thoughts turned to the relationship we, as Christians, have with our heavenly Father. How frustrated must he get with us, his children, when we make decisions with which he does not agree? He is all powerful and all knowing. He could stop us from making such choices, yet he gave us the gift of free will. So…he allows us to make our own choices. Hopefully, when we SCREW UP, as we all do, we remember that He loves us and we need only to ask his forgiveness and he will forgive. As a human, I find it much harder to forgive and I pray that I can be more forgiving and accepting.
This weekend, with Andy back in the house, reminded me that no matter how big our children get, they are still our children. I love Andy no matter what; just as my heavenly Father loves me – no matter what. My heavenly Father died on the cross for me; I believe I would give my life for my son…BUT…will I allow my son the gift of free will, the gift to make his own choices without imposing my thoughts, beliefs, ideas and ideals on him. I cling to the promise in Proverbs 22:6, “train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” I know John and I trained him and brought him up in the right way.
Lord, thank you for the gift of YOUR son. Thank you for the gift you gave me in MY son. Help me remember that I do not get to see the big picture. I do not get to know what things you have in store for my life or that of Andy’s, but I know as a child of God, that you have only my best interest in mind and Andy’s too. Please help me to be less judgmental and please give me the patience I need to wait and see…after all, patience is a virtue and Advent is a time of waiting and anticipation.
God bless you, my friends, thank you for reading and have a blessed Advent.