I have been praying about my writing. About what I should do with this space. I have been so empty for what seems like forever and even though I have wanted to quit and walk away, I could not get a clear sense that leaving…walking away was the right answer.
So, I sat and waited.
I did not close the blog.
I did not walk away.
I continued to pray and seek an answer.
I have the
in(Courage) perpetual calendar on the desk in my office. This morning Holley Gerth‘s words spoke
“…part of faith is also about believing that our
makes a difference – when we can’t see the results.”
Then I read Jesus Calling, January 14 – today – and Sarah Young writes “Let Me bless you with My grace and Peace. Open your heart and mind to receive all that I have for you. Do not be ashamed of your emptiness. Instead, view it as the optimal condition for being filled with My Peace.”
Maybe…just maybe my obedience is in accepting my emptiness today…right now. Maybe the obedience of not quitting is the only answer I get right now.
For some reason, I find peace in that thought.
So, quietly, in my little corner of the internet I share with whomever is reading this that I am waiting. I am empty of words, but I am at peace.
And that, my friend, is a gift.
Are you waiting on something?
Are you hoping and looking for results that just do not
seem to be there?
Can I pray for you today? If so, please share in the comments.
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I read these verses this morning as part of @stephanieweinert chapter a day challenge
It has been months since I have shared in this space. A lot of hard things have happened.
Tomorrow it will be four months since the sudden death of a close family member that was in his mid-fifties.
The grief is palpable. The loss is cavernous.
And life goes on.
And I remember that “he is my help and my shield.” And I will be thankful.
With all the grief and sadness in the world I wasn’t sure how I would handle today. How I would allow myself to grieve this loss? Today when there has so much WRONG in our world. In a post @deidrariggs shared today she reminded us that life goes on. And I realized that today this is my life. And I can grieve this loss. My life goes on... I am thankful for the 4 days we had her. On Friday I will remember each event of her last day and I will remember her dying in my arms.
And I will be both sad and grateful. #infantloss #trisomy18 #stlouischildrenshospital
I'm reading; every post and often inspired. Today I feel led to comment. Perhaps your waiting for someone to comment on your blog post, but I hope you are not blogging just for that reason. I know you love to write and you write so beautiful. God reads every word and whispers his comments back to you in your ear. Keep writing to HIM…He wants you to write to HIM.
Kathy, thank you for sharing you thoughts. Comments are not the issue, in fact, I have considered turning off comments. No…the emptiness is just a dry place right now. Slowly, I think the tide is turning.