I have been praying about my writing. About what I should do with this space. I have been so empty for what seems like forever and even though I have wanted to quit and walk away, I could not get a clear sense that leaving…walking away was the right answer.
So, I sat and waited.
I did not close the blog.
I did not walk away.
I continued to pray and seek an answer.
I have the
in(Courage) perpetual calendar on the desk in my office. This morning Holley Gerth‘s words spoke
to me.
“…part of faith is also about believing that our
obedience
makes a difference – when we can’t see the results.”
Then I read Jesus Calling, January 14 – today – and Sarah Young writes “Let Me bless you with My grace and Peace. Open your heart and mind to receive all that I have for you. Do not be ashamed of your emptiness. Instead, view it as the optimal condition for being filled with My Peace.”
Maybe…just maybe my obedience is in accepting my emptiness today…right now. Maybe the obedience of not quitting is the only answer I get right now.
For some reason, I find peace in that thought.
So, quietly, in my little corner of the internet I share with whomever is reading this that I am waiting. I am empty of words, but I am at peace.
And that, my friend, is a gift.
Are you waiting on something?
Are you hoping and looking for results that just do not
seem to be there?
Can I pray for you today? If so, please share in the comments.
I'm reading; every post and often inspired. Today I feel led to comment. Perhaps your waiting for someone to comment on your blog post, but I hope you are not blogging just for that reason. I know you love to write and you write so beautiful. God reads every word and whispers his comments back to you in your ear. Keep writing to HIM…He wants you to write to HIM.
Kathy, thank you for sharing you thoughts. Comments are not the issue, in fact, I have considered turning off comments. No…the emptiness is just a dry place right now. Slowly, I think the tide is turning.
As the weeks have drug on it has been easy for me to lose hope.
Will things ever get back to some type of normal? People were not created to live in isolation.
Will we be able to see someone smile or will we always look at them and only see their eyes?
Will people gather without having to sit 6’ apart?
I don’t know the answer and I’m not posting this to debate the news media’s portrayal of the pandemic.
I’m sharing this today because I spent some time with the Lord thanking him for the things I DO have and not focusing on the things I don’t have. The things I have lost since March.
I looked up scriptures about hope.
I made a list in my prayer journal of things I’m grateful for.
Life goes on. Life crisis continues even during this pandemic. People die naturall and tragically. And babies are born. And weddings happen and new lives begin.
This crisis in our world isn’t a surprise to God.
And my hope and security is in Him.
If you scroll through the photos, you see things that made me smile this morning and reminded me of the goodness of God - even now.
With all the grief and sadness in the world I wasn’t sure how I would handle today. How I would allow myself to grieve this loss? Today when there has so much WRONG in our world. In a post @deidrariggs shared today she reminded us that life goes on. And I realized that today this is my life. And I can grieve this loss. My life goes on... I am thankful for the 4 days we had her. On Friday I will remember each event of her last day and I will remember her dying in my arms.
And I will be both sad and grateful. #infantloss #trisomy18 #stlouischildrenshospital
I'm reading; every post and often inspired. Today I feel led to comment. Perhaps your waiting for someone to comment on your blog post, but I hope you are not blogging just for that reason. I know you love to write and you write so beautiful. God reads every word and whispers his comments back to you in your ear. Keep writing to HIM…He wants you to write to HIM.
Kathy, thank you for sharing you thoughts. Comments are not the issue, in fact, I have considered turning off comments. No…the emptiness is just a dry place right now. Slowly, I think the tide is turning.